What do we have for 'em, Johnny?

A sarcastic comment that is used when someone figures out something really obvious. An imitation of a game show host announcing that someone has given the correct answer and has won a prize that his assistant (Johnny) will specify on cue. Often preceded by "Ding ding!"

Boss: "OK everyone, Brenda Smith is going to be out on Thursday so we need someone to volunteer to fill her time slot."
Mike Hawk: "I'm available that day. I can do it."
Boss: "All righty then. I'm going to go ahead and stick Mike Hawk in her slot."
Steve: "That's what she said! Or...um...actually I mean that's what HE said!"
(everyone laughs except Jim)
Jim: "I don't get it..."
(20 seconds go by)
Jim: "Oh haha, now I get it...Mike Hawk sounds like 'my cock!' It's sexual innuendo. That's a good one."
Steve: "DING DING! What do we have for 'em, Johnny?"

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Yo yo yo what’s good in the hood

A commonly used greeting by aspiring white gangsters, usually ironic

Guy 1: Yo yo yo what’s good in the hood
Guy 2: Shut the fuck up Anthony, I wish my mother would’ve done hard drugs when she was pregnant with me

14👍 1👎

That's not what your mom said last night

Just about. The greatest comeback to anything. Used mainly when talking about the size of genitals, but can apply to anything else.

Person A - Hey look at our science. That's bigger than yours!
Person B - That's not what your mom said last night!
Person C - Oh BURN.

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What the fuck did I just watch

The subtitle to the anime show Neon Genesis Evangelion and the conclusive movie The End of Evangelion.

*credits roll*
man
what the fuck did I just watch

50👍 8👎

That's what I told my first wife.

Much like the popular phrase "that's what she said", "that's what I told my first wife" can apply to male only references. The first known use was by Michael Thor Lengies Sept. 2012.

Perfect set ups:
"It's doesn't get any harder than this." "That's what I told my first wife."

Sarcastic:
"I always wear condoms." "That's what I told my first wife."

Out of no where:
"I've got a date at 9:00." "That's what I told my first wife."

Self degrading humor:
"I'm just not a one woman man." "Yeah, that's what I told my first wife."

Thats what he said, Thats what she said, Inuendo, Sexual,

what has been seen cannot be unseen

The act of witnessing something so traumatic or disturbing that it is futilely wished to be unseen. Most commonly experienced on 4chan's /b/ or senior citizen dating websites.
See also: eye bleach

Me: Oh hey, look, some Nigerian dude emailed me a file called BlueGoatseWaffles! Maybe its a picture of blue goats doing people stuff...like cooking waffles!
*Click*
*35 seconds later*
Me: What has been seen cannot be unseen.

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What Shall We do With a Drunken Sailor?

we shave his belly with a rusty razor, put him in a longboat till he's sober, stick him in a scupper with a hose pipe on him, and put him in the bed with the captain's daughter early in the morning.

What Shall We do With a Drunken Sailor?
What Shall We do With a Drunken Sailor?
Early in the morning!
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Early in the morning!
Shave his belly with a rusty razor
Shave his belly with a rusty razor
Shave his belly with a rusty razor
Early in the morning!
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Early in the morning!
Put him in a long boat till his sober
Put him in a long boat till his sober
Put him in a long boat till his sober
Early in the morning!
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Early in the morning!
Stick him in a scupper with a hosepipe bottom
Stick him in a scupper with a hosepipe bottom
Stick him in a scupper with a hosepipe bottom
Early in the morning!
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Early in the morning!
Put him in the bed with the captains daughter
Put him in the bed with the captains daughter
Put him in the bed with the captains daughter
Early in the morning!
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Early in the morning!
That's what we do with a drunken sailor
That's what we do with a drunken sailor
That's what we do with a drunken sailor
Early in the morning!
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Early in the morning!

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