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Touchin' Cotton is when one is using every muscle in their buttocks to hold in their poop--yet no matter how hard they try it keeps poking out of their butthole making contact with their boxers/white tighties/thong/granny panties etc. Touchin' Cotton is one of the causes of skid marks.
It's a highly uncomfortable feeling, which in turn causes abnormal behavior. When Touchin' Cotton people tend to speak faster in conversations, exceed speed limits by 15-30 MPH, sweat uncontrollably and fidget in their seats as a result of the forced tightening of their anus.
Nearly 100% of U.S. Americans will find themselves Touchin' Cotton during the course of their lives.
Touchin' Cotton usually occurs:
1) Around 1-3 hours after waking up
2) Before a stressful event
3) Right after a Mexican dinner
4) Right before bedtime
Generally, when one is TCin' it, they can make it to a restroom before disaster strikes. The excrement is painful, but not explosive. A Touchin Cotton poop is generally long, cylinder in shape, and brown. It takes an average number of wipes to clean up. Unlike explosive diarrhea, when one is TCin' it, they can control the poops exit for a good while; however, within an hour they MUST find a bathroom or skid marks will become the least of their worries.
"Hey dad, can you pull over at the next McDonalds, I've been Touchin' Cotton for the past 30 minutes."
"OMG Bekah, I need to leave class. I'm totally TCin' right now."
POLICE OFFICE: Sir, can you tell me why you were going 45 MPH in a 25 MPH residential neighborhood?
DRIVER: Sweating, Frantic Officer, I've been in traffic for the past 2 hours and I HAVE to get home and use the restroom. For God sakes, I've been Touchin' Cotton for the past hour.
Music that African Americans fancy when working out in the cotton yards for old man Clemens.
"Wowsers those negrows should turn down that Cotton Pickin Music" "Look at that cracker and or saltine being black jammin to Cotton Pickin Music"
The act of picking a booger out of your nose, then scratching your ass with the same finger you picked the booger out of then eating the booger.
Someone caught Gabor eating some Hungarian Cotton Candy at the dinner party last Wednesday.
Someone who's doing better than average and/or moving on up.
Bob has landed a freaking awesome job. He's really shitting in tall cotton.
A delicious drink from the Starbucks secret menu. A light pink Frappuccino that tastes creamy and sweet and doesn't have a very strong coffee taste. Perfect for kids. How to order: Ask for a Vanilla Bean Frappuccino with one pump of raspberry syrup for tall, 1.5 for grande, and 2 for venti. Yummy!
Mmmmm... this Cotton Candy Frappuccino is delicious!
A black guy that still acts like a slave.
I told that cotton picking nigga to wash my car.
High Cotton Ties was created in North Carolina. These ties are made of cotton rather then silk, they're completely washable. They're a symbol of the South. They make bow ties, Cummerbunds, and headbands for the belles.
Where is your bow tie from?" "Its from High Cotton Ties".