Potting plants

Getting cummed in

Man i put a really nice plant in her pot;
Im potting plants

Planting a Fern

Getting your hands filthy and shit under your finger nails. Good for the skin, bad for the back.

I love planting a fern with akesl in the lay-bys ❤️

chair plant

a fail involving a chair

1- to lean back on the chair and it falls over leaving the occupant lying on the floor, in a daze
2- to attemp to sit on a chair, but miss the chair and land on the floor
3- to walk past a chair and trip on the leg and face plant

1- boy 1- "god this class is soo boring" (leams back while

yawning)

*chair collapses

boy 2- "dude, EPIC FAIL"

2- boy 1- "i need a rest"

*kicks chair back as he trys to sit and hits the

ground

"aww man, i just chair planted"

3- boy 1- "ill be there in a sec"

*walks over but trips on chair leg

"owww, damnit my nose"

Atheist plant

So you exist only to help control the discourse and your atheism is just you being the self-appointed arbiter of acceptable belief? That's illuminating.

Hym "Yeah, the Atheist plants got to go. They are literally greater good ideologue trying to replace religion with a liberalized version (i.e. themselves)"

Atheists plant "Gosh golly I wouldn't do that! I just..."

Hym "Yadda yadda none of that means anything bitch. You just nothing. You are the problem. The radicalization is the backlash of you doing exactly that. Your controlled opposition bit is not going to work."

House-planting

The act of providing your partner with a few minutes of attention each day only to then ignore them for a few days following this, then after a few days giving them a few more minutes of attention and so the loop continues.

Similar to the watering of a house plant, you water it for a minute only to then pretend it no longer exists until it needs watering again.

''I'm so sick of Dan, I get home from work and he's all over me for literally five minutes and then its like I don't exist for the rest of the week, he's totally house-planting me!!''

Potted Plant

When you can’t think of a punch line so you just say

Guy1: I’m bored, what should we do?
Guy2: potted plant.
Guy1: what
Guy2: did i stutter?

Plant

Its green.

"hey whats that green thing over there?"

"Oh that's a plant."