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Leader of the Private Squad. A man who will lead the world through the golden age.
Private Pascal: Bro I just got promoted to Captain Navad's 3nd in command.
Ryan: NO!!!! I'm the worst on the squad now.
The ship captain is the person in the fam or your friend group that keeps shipping everybody in the freakin' friend group regardless of whether or not they would make a good couple and also regardless of their sexuality. They are the captain of shipping people, thus known as the ship captain. If you have a ship captain in your fam or friend group then I feel bad for you son. Jk. Ship captains are also really good friends because of their determination, understanding, and total lack of selfishness. Ship captains are usually the leader or the glue of the friend group. If the ship captain feels that a ship is sinking, he or she will immediately abandon ship and get a new ship because they need a ship to commandeer. Ship captains always have a reason to explain how their ship would make a good couple. If you're targeted by a ship captain then good luck because they're like paparazzi and they won't stop following you and your shipmate everywhere and teasing you, thus bringing you closer together, which usually works after what I've seen from what the ship captain has done to my friends and their ships. You can have multiple ship captains in a friend group. But one way to identify the true captain is to check their phone and see if you can find pictures of his/her targets, either photoshopped or edited or real. Also, if they smirk proudly at the mention of one of their ships.
Caden: ugh I've been targeted
Me: Great who's the ship captain this time, it wasn't me
Caden: Grace
Me: Oh ya Grace is a really persistent ship captain
Grace: *runs over* Kate look at this amazing pic I've got
*Pic is an edited photo of Caden and Mackenzie*
Caden: oh my gawd
Me: NICE JOB GRACE
Caden: Youre such a ship captain
Grace: Youre welcome CADENZIE
Caden: UAEDGJKVziucjdkfcvUISRJGKfxbaioaerlkngd
Me: LOL
No, his name is not Captain Canada. Captain Cananada is a huge superhero who loves to save the day at any moment!
Captain Cananada is going to save us from The Face!
A male or female who has been drinking all night and after their first piss of the night needs to go to the toilet every ten minutes.
Seriously, Are you going to take a leak again?!
I know. I broke the seal an hour ago and now i'm Captain Weakbladder
A gentlemen who does not last long in bed and shoots his load too quickly
He's such a Captain Cumquick!
Fictional superhero that could beat captain America.
Who can beat captain America? Captain Vietnam
A variation of Captain’s Pick, which in the original definition, is an unqualified and unknown/untested guy who is plucked from obscurity (by the head honchos) and helicoptered into a role within a work team, which is way, way out of his league.
This same guy, has neither been peer accepted or consulted-passed - nor will he ever be, coz he is so developmentally challenged that he will never progress, yet still enjoys the privilege of patronage by the top brass.
That’s the original definition, but the pun version (Captain’s Prick) has this same guy having the added dimensions of being obnoxious to the team, never contributing to team effort and what’s more…. he dogs others to the Captain just to get himself and the charade (of his competency) ahead!
All these, while never being made to be accountable for anything himself, coz he is inexplicably endorsed from above (due to the nature of his appointment) and so he is allowed to remain the way he is, indefinitely.
So much so that the others, either start leaving the job or have fantasies of leaving or at worse… have disturbing fantasies of overpowering him and hog tying him up and dumping him into a giant vat upon firewood and setting it to boil (muahahahaha!).
The big bosses at my GF’s workplace not long ago, ushered in “Jason” into the role of Team Manager- he is an untested nobody whose last position was as a mailroom boy.
But he has a glib tongue which convinces the top brass that he is made for greater things.
Jason turns out to be a real Captain’s Prick.
Due to his incompetence, unhelpfulness, nastiness and treachery, he has upset so many people that just last month, within the space of just one week: Jan, Steven, Cynthia, Robert and Melissa all quit in disgust.
Now there is just 2 left in the team - my GF being one of them - she comes home crying to me every night!