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Church Police

People you know from church, but are not really friends with outside of church. They notice you at Wal-Mart on Sunday afternoon after you skipped church that day and approach you to announce that they missed you in church, expecting either a doctor's note or an explanation as to where you were.

Wife: "Shoot! I ran into the Church Police while I was at Wal-Mart."
Husband: "Who was it?"
Wife: "Betty and George."
Husband: "Did they say anything?"
Wife: "Yeah. 'We missed you today at church.'"
Husband: "What'd you say?"
Wife: "One of the kids was sick."

by Turkey Trot February 28, 2011

3๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


church on the move

If a cuz yells church on the move you gotta drop every thing and go.

I saw one of my ex's while in the club with my homies and yelled church on the move

from snoop's fatherhood

by Karlea January 5, 2008

14๐Ÿ‘ 20๐Ÿ‘Ž


Neon Church

A slang word for a โ€œblow jobโ€ after being sodomized in the anus.

I pulled out of her ass and shoved it in her ass, my girlfriend enjoyed neon church this morning.

by Drugsbitch December 22, 2018

2๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


God church

Some dumb ass word that jake paul made up to describe how "amazing" his merch was selling.

And i just dropped some new merch and its selling like a god church

by XxDarkCatKingxX January 4, 2018

2๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


God Church

A word used by a mentally ill non-human youtuber named jack paule. Basically he's retarded.

Jack Paul: Hey babe-
Totally fine non-retarded girlfriend: Hey you're kinda retarded so i'm breaking up with you
Jack paul: WHAT!!... BUT... by the way my new merch is selling like a GOD CHURCH
* Speech 0 *

by jaCK Paule July 15, 2019

2๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


church fatigue

The miserable, hot, sticky, depressed fatigue that overwhelms you during a service, particularly one with lots of standing and singing. Causes you to slump your shoulders and groan with its weight. Immediate relief surges through you when you sit down.

Dude, you look hammered!

nah man, just some serious church fatigue.

Ugh, that last hymn was so long!

Yeah. I got church fatigue so bad, I could hardly breathe.

by patrick_astronaut October 6, 2013

2๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


church whore

Any woman who was a young prostitute and now behaves holier than thou ,but fails to realize everyone in church knows she sucked more cock than Linda Lovelace.

The priest said"" Get Sarah the church whore to help with the bake sale, she's good at selling things.""

by Dr. Jekyll&Mr.Hyde June 27, 2019

2๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž