When you scratch your ass crack and your finger smells like shit.
Kevin made me smell his fingers after he shaved his asshole and he had some major league stink finger.
The act of base to tip stimulation to get fully erect. Subject rests pinkie on the pubic area then proceeds to rub hand up to the tip of the penis, grip semi-tight. Subject repeats until fully stimulated. Lotion is highly recommended for a successful transmission between Major Tom and ground control.
Fred got home from school and did a little ground control to Major Tom while watching Step-By-Step.
29๐ 20๐
A pretty bizarre human. Likes terrible racing games where he spends $1000000000 on.
He likes men, in the pants.
He can only dance the macarena.....backwards and naked.
He likes girls....as friends
Hes a troll! He loves the word NOR!
WOW I AM SOOO AWESOME LOOK AT ME DANCE AND RUB MY BODY! I AM MAJOR FAGATRON MCBALLGRAB!!!!
1๐ 3๐
The man that teaches elderly people about technology
2๐ 3๐
1. Misleading statement asserting that your work has been completed even though critical steps remain.
Source: A paraphrasing of the George W. Bush quote "Major combat operations in Iraq have ended. In the battle of Iraq, the United States and our allies have prevailed" uttered on May 1, 2003 with the banner "mission accomplished" behind him.
Did you finish raking the lawn?
Major combat operations are over!
But you left all the leaves in piles... bag that sh!t!
OK.
3๐ 1๐
That depressing realization you didn't have anywhere near as many people come to your party or your rally as you had expected.
"So what ails ya, Nate?"
"Aw, I invited a hundred people to my party and look... only twenty showed up. I gots a major case of the blue seats."
Standing there alone, the ship is waiting
All systems are go, are you sure?
Control is not convinced
But the computer has the evidence
No need to abort
The countdown starts
Watching in a trance, the crew is certain
Nothing left to chance, all is working
Trying to relax, up in the capsule
"Send me up a drink", jokes Major Tom
The count goes on
Four, three, two, one
Earth below us
Drifting, falling
Floating, weightless
Calling, calling home
Second stage is cut, we're now in orbit
Stabilizers up, running perfect
Starting to collect requested data
"What will it effect, when all is done?"
Thinks Major Tom
Back at ground control there is a problem
Go to rockets full, not responding
"Hello Major Tom, are you receiving?
Turn the thrusters on, we're standing by"
There's no reply
Four, three, two, one
Earth below us
Drifting, falling
Floating, weightless
Calling, calling home
Across the stratosphere
A final message, "Give my wife my love"
Then nothing more
Far beneath the ship, the world is mourning
They don't realize, he's alive
No one understands but Major Tom sees
Now the light commands, this is my home
I'm coming home
Earth below us
Drifting, falling
Floating, weightless
Coming home
Earth below us
Drifting, falling
Floating, weightless
Coming home
Earth below us
Drifting, falling
Floating, weightless
Coming, coming home
Home
Home
Home
Home
Home
Home
Home
Home
Major Tom (Coming Home)