Table Spam

All that space-taking crap you find on tables at restaurants--extra drink menus, desert menus, weekly specials menus, Direct TV ads. . .

"Move this damn table spam, I need room for my platter of bottomless chicken wings."

table mate

A cowerer who goes to a conference with you who sits at the same table.

Hey pal, who is your table mate today?

Table addict

Someone who packages so much heroin for street sale that contact with the drug causes them to become addicted, even though they don't inject or snort it deliberately.

At her sentencing hearing, Kimberly McIntosh told the federal judge that she had cut and processed so much heroin during her time as comptroller for the Black Guerilla Family that she become addicted, even though she's not a user.

"So you're a table addict," the judge replied.

Penis table

When a male is trying to grind with a female during a dance, but his height makes it so that his entire genitalia is in line with the female's mid back. Therefore, the female's ass functions, essentially, only as a table for the male's penis.

Yeah, my friend has grown quite tired of clubs, everytime he tries to grind with someone her ass just becomes a penis table.

tables the turn

A term which means to have the your power over someone flipped for you to become the powerless. This is humorous variation of "turn the tables" made to subvert expectation by flipping the order of words around, creating an absurdly worded sentence. Alternatively, the past tense of this phrase is "the turns have tabled"

I had enough of bossing me around, now it is me that tables the turn.

Table snake

A game played at dinner parties and other events. A male puts his penis on the table and waits for someone to notice by yelling "table snake!"
Whoever can go unnoticed the longest wins.

We played table snake at the Christmas party last night. Johnny won when it took 10mins for anyone to notice that his snake wasn't just a misplaced cabana.

Bobby Tables

DROP TABLE (
SELECT table_name
FROM information_schema.`TABLES`
WHERE table_schema = 'myDatabase' AND table_name LIKE BINARY 'del%');

XKCD Comic # 327
Sanitize your DB Inputs Bobby Tables Comic