Bros before hoes, unless theres no clothes

Bros ALWAYS come first unless your getting ass.

Guy 1:Yo man you coming tonight to the party?
Guy 2: No man, getting laid!
Guy 1: dude, bros before hoes...
Guy 2: unless theres no clothes...
Bros before hoes, unless theres no clothes

39👍 21👎

Check Thyself Before Thy Wreck Thyself

also known as the 11th commandment, is essentially a rule where you need to think hard about what you're about to say to make sure that you don't say something bad that happens to apply to you too.

to put yourself in a corner by your own statement or action.

ghost 1: man ghosts are such losers

ghost 2: dude, you're a ghost.

ghost 1: bro, you're right

ghost 2: check thyself before thy wreck thyself...

5👍 1👎

shut face before I break face

A command demanding that one is quiet or else one will have to use physical violence to ensure quietness.

"you smell"
"shut face before I break face"
"you smell"
"...ow!"

19👍 10👎

Check yourself, before you Shrek yourself

To check your actions before you go off and do something stupid, and Shrek the almighty ogre lord decides to kill you.

Man: I hear investing in bitcoin is the way to go nowadays
Man's friend: Check yourself, before you Shrek yourself

4👍 1👎

Check yourself before you shrek yourself

Take a chill pill and look at your actions. Examine what you're next action because right now, you're heading in a bad direction.

Person: I think I'll go see La La Land!

Me: Check yourself before you shrek yourself, dickhead.

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count your chickens before the egg hatched

Count your chickens before the egg hatched.

I finally planted 5 fruit trees. Do you want to buy some fruit this summer?
Count your chickens before the egg hatched. - eg taking something for granted before it happens

3👍 1👎

Shock her before you Spock her!

A nifty little rhyme used by many men to remember the order in which to insert his fingers into his Lady's orifice's.
Shocking = Index and middle finger in the vagina, Little finger in the bum.
Spocking = Index and middle finger in the vagina, Ring finger and little finger in the bum.

The trekkies amongst us will already be masters at 'Spocking'

Guy 1: "Mate, she hated it!! I thought she'd love a good Spocking!!"
Guy 2: "You Gotta Shock her before you spock her!"
Guy 1: "What a nifty little rhyme!!"

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