Random
Source Code
Random
A word to describe an asshole or more commonly, a douche. There are 5 rungs of the douche hierarchy: asshole, douche, douche bag, douche nozzle and right at the top, (displaying unfettered amounts of douche), douche rocket.When someone is so douchey they can no longer be described as a douche nozzle, the big guns are brought out and douche rocket is used.
"Abe you douche rocket!!"
258👍 59👎
a person that is really concieted and think that they are cool and full of them selves when people really make fun of them behind their back and can't stand the sight of them
Matt via thinks he's so cool but really hes just a giant douche-waffle.
26👍 3👎
An ancient American rite of passage for the young male brosef trying to prove himself on the modern battlefield (read: bars and clubs). Counting douche has a long and rich history in the club scene and can be easily observed on any night where classes get out early.
The act involves one male (hereby referred to as the 'douche') performing a physical act against another male-generally in the form of light body checking, body slapping, or other type of immature physical contact. The douche, contrary to popular belief, is not looking to start a physical confrontation as much as he is trying to impress his bro circle and their skank squadron. Confrontation is not rare, however, and much to the delight of nearby onlookers the douche is typically thrown headfirst back into his circlejerk of friends.
The most conservative definition of counting douche requires that the douche be physically smaller than his opponent. Larger opponents may be sought out in order to achieve more 'bro cred' and choice mating rights with the skanks. If the douche is larger than his opponent then bravery (or is it stupidity?) does not come in to play; the douche is more appropriately referred to as an 'asshole.'
North America has a rich warrior history of counting coup, and counting douche is the latest iteration of this unique phenomenon.
Example 1.
Patron 1: Hey, why is that squiggly little quimby with the three popped collars making it a point to keep bumping into you?
Patron 2: Oh don't worry he's just counting douche.
Patron 1: Don't let him touch you! His axe body spray will rub off and embed into your soft skin.
Example 2.
Bro 1: Yo brah, I bet you a case of Natty Ice you too scared to start shit with Fat Larry over there.
Bro 2: Durr make sure the bitches is watching whilst I begin counting douche.
25👍 3👎
1. A cleansing wipe for a penis.
2. A female equivalent of a Douche bag, that is usually PMS'ing and in a real bitchy state.
a. Eric: Damn! your mom threw my gameboy out the window because she said it was too loud!
John: Yeah... Shes being a real dick douche today...
b. Girl: Why does your junk smell like febreze?
Boy: I just used a dick douche!
25👍 3👎
Douche Boy
Noun
A male who has the personality of a whet bag of slop.
Is often genederly challenged, controlling and arrogant.
Commonly involved with rumor and innuendo.
This person is likely your supervisor or Anthony Weiner.
Our boss is micromanaging again, "yeah he's a Douche Boy"
25👍 3👎
Most prominent in the emo culture, the douche swoop has also appeared more recently in hipster populations across the globe. A douche swoop is defined by the most decidedly douchey swoop of bangs that typically covers roughly 35% of afflicted faces. It is typically marked by incessant fiddling with and/or brushing of the bangs from the face. In extreme cases, violent tics of the head to remove said hair from the facial region are observed. Do not be misled, these tics are not typically a result of Tourette syndrome; nay, they are merely the effect of a douchey haircut, and in most cases, are representative of a douchey individual.
"That emo kid is moving up. He kicked the douche swoop and now thinks he's the Fonz, cause he's rockin a pompadour."
"That's it; get me the scissors, post haste. I cannot possibly watch that kid play with his douche swoop any longer. I'm going to cut it off."
25👍 3👎
A douche unit is any person or thing, who's apparent assigned task in life, is to be a douche. they may perform very well or very badly at this, but the important thing, is that they are a douche most or all of the time, on a regular basis. they may wake up in the morning, and begin douching, as in, blowing nonsense bullshit everywhere, and then sucking shit afterwards. this process is repeated until they are killed, or locked in a soundproof room, or are distracted and find douchination elsewhere.
"Mike is a solid douche unit, it's really apparent he is only here to be a slimefuck"
"I tried to get to work on time today but a douche unit kept trying to pull over in the middle of the road to look at bullshit"
"Your order would be ready today, except a douche unit was involved in inventory control and shit went down, and up again"
14👍 1👎