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gonna be the guy who's gonna fuck up your life because you're gonna give into his mind games and shit like that. all he wants to do with you is fuck, fuck, and fuck because he's always bored and has no one to hangout with. basically a MAN HOE...
my life was going great until jesus started talking to me. yeah it was cool and shit since he kissed me, but later i found out he's hoeing around with other girls and flirting with anyone who gets in his way...
2👍 5👎
coined the term "amen" after creating the practice of baptism where he dunks people's heads into water and stares at their ass. jesus is a lgbtqa+ icon therefore he is a lesbian protector and a great appreciator of men ass.
" Look at that juicy christian ass! Ah men, am I right?"
"JESUS! YOU USELESS HOMOSEXUAL!"
2👍 5👎
A Hispanic guy who usually just does the same thing everyday. Jesus's tend to eat a lot when bored. There preferred food are: Hotdogs, peanut butter sandwiches, waffles, scrambled eggs. You can tell when a Jesus has been in the kitchen if you find butter knives, random jelly spots, an empty cup ready for whenever Jesus wants water.
Why is there so many butter knives in the sink?
"Jesus came over"
2👍 5👎
The guy who’s Mexican but looks black and says the n word. When you put glasses on him he looks like Winston, and often smells like stinky toes.
“Yo is that my boi Jesus!!!!”
J: “Ayyyyee my nig!”
“Smells like up stinky toes”
J: “what’s up stinky toes?!”
15👍 79👎
Developed from the Old Persian "Yazhus", meaning "Anal Lord".
From ~1500BCE to ~60AD the Middle East was ruled by "Zgenhhus" - heterosexual Kings who spread their empire by impregnating hundreds, sometimes thousands of women in a lifetime.
The famous Jesus Christ (Yashua Bin Josef) was supposed to be the next in the natural line of these, as governed by the Magi, or Wise Men.
However, being agressively homosexual, he instead gained the nickname "Yazhus" (Anal Lord) and discontinued this line, causing thousands of years of worldwide war.
Historical experts agree that the reason of his terrible execution is not because of his flamboyent speeches. It is actually because he broke into the Roman ranks often and paraded around wearing nothing but a crown of psychoactive plants on his head, tricking the soldiers into being drug-induced rape victims.
Jesus, stop it! You're hurting me!
7👍 33👎
Big beefy man boy who sits behind you in science and asks for a pencil (but little do you know he's crushing on you secretly). He has a strange background. He says he was born in the holy land or something. He is the most hottest man you will ever ever see in all of your life. He will always be the man you love, so you worship him in church every day so maybe he might come back to you and marry you, so you have an excuse to divorce your now husband ,David.
Grandkid 1: Nana what is love?
You: A great and amazing thing
Grandkid 2: Who was your first love.
You: ah it was a long time ago.. Jesus. That's why I go to church everyday.
3👍 10👎
Jesus is a Hispanic name, meaning he is the best man you could ever have in your life.Jesus is caring and is loyal.
Hey Jesus I love you
3👍 10👎