swiss army knife

a knife with many useless tools on it that the bastards at airport security keep stealing.

dude why are you taking my swiss army knife?

94👍 121👎

Portuguese Knife Fight

Something, especially referring to an event, that is casually violent or chaotically aggressive; everyone involved has a reckless, devil-may-care attitude towards the (often serious or important) problem or topic at hand.

Popularised by the band Cage The Elephant, with their song 'Portuguese Knife Fight'.

Zach Casualrapeford: Hey Brock, you seen Barron around?
Brock Chesterwood: Yeah bro, it turns out Ashley reported him to the principal about him raping Stacey. He said he was going to have a word with her and her boyfriend, but he looked like he was gonna get into a Portuguese knife fight instead.
Zach Casualrapeford: I hope he sorts that mess out before his parents find out.

5👍 3👎

Monkey Knife Fight

Where two monkeys fight to the death with knives. Modern day monkeys tend to use guns, fire, and atomic bombs.

Buddy Christ fought Olaf in a monkey knife fight.

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Jewish jack-knife

nothing jewish bout that, you just described driving in jersey

"wtf, did you see that mofo in the red pontiac go thru 4 lanes without signaling?"
"yeah, you in piscataway now dude"

25👍 29👎

The Knife Game

The most risky game ever. It is played by stabbing the table between your fingers while singing the Knife game song. Failing the game can result in serious injuries and possibly getting your finger cut off. Just don't do it, ok? Also, if you REALLY wanna do it, use the eraser side od a pencil or a closed pen. It's similar to a knife and it can't rick-roll your fingers.

Guy 1: I am gonna do the Knife game!
Guy 2: Don't do it! It ain't worth it!
--- ONLY 10 SECONDS LATER---
Guy 2: H- HELLO AMBULANCE, MY FRIEND JUST STABBED HIS HAND SO PLRASE HURRH UP!

1👍 7👎

Al Qaeda Knife

a box cutter or other encased razor blade used to hijack all the planes on September 11.

I need the Al Qaeda Knife to open this package.

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Peruvian knife thruster

When a man has a quite sharp member and thrusts it with vigor into the girl.

OR

when a man puts 5 fingers into a woman whilst being tossed off by another man and drooled on by a dog

Alison: OMG Jake and me had a peruvian knife thruster last night!
Chloe: ow.

OR

Peter: "aww man i gave her the peruvian knife thruster last night"

Jake: "oh yeah? how was the dog"
Peter: "awman it was fucking amazing"

5👍 4👎