Alabama Standing Screw

Allegedly originated in the dirty south. A sexual position in which the male stands on the floor, and the female lays spread eagle on the bed, allowing for maximum pounding and leg thrusts. See also Kentucky Leg Dangle.

I gave her the Alamaba standing screw, and now she walks with a limp.

16👍 7👎

Slow Comfortable Screw

1) some good sex.

2) a cocktail containing gin and orange juice.

Jane: hey jaime let have a slow comfortable screw
Jaime: yer ok
Chris: mad sluts can i film it?
Jaime and Jane: sure!
Jane to bar-tender: hey can i have a slow comfortable screw?
Bar-tender: sure meet me out the back in 5.

8👍 3👎

Barks and Screws

It's a combination of bump and bruises & cuts and crapes.

Sarah hit the pavement so hard she's all Barks and Screws.

1👍 4👎

phillips screw driver

4 oz Vodka
2 oz Orange Juice
2 oz Milk of Magnesia

Friend 1: "I am really hungover!"

Friend 2: "Here, have a phillips screw driver."

10👍 4👎

man, are we screwed

What will happen if we keep slowly destroying the Earth.

"Global warming, greenhouse gasses and pollution are destroying the Earth!"
"Man, are we screwed."

24👍 14👎

screwed, blued and tattooed

All the definitions I've seen here have a positive connotation, which is completely wrong. The phrase has always had a very definite negative connotation, and means to be supremely screwed, screwed beyond all comprehension. The original phrase was "screwed, blewed and tattooed".

"Screwed" essentially means "cheated" here, much as it does today.

"Blewed" meant "lost or been robbed of". The word's origin is from the German "blauen" so it's actually related to "blue", not "blew", and meant that something had vanished (into the blue). (According to "A Dictionary of Slang, Jargon & Cant" By Charles Godfrey Leland, published in 1889.)

"Tattooed" refers here to a beating with very rapid blows, in the same sense as a military tattoo, which is a rapid pattern on a drum.

So, the phrase literally meant "cheated, robbed and beaten".

I invested my life's savings in a fraudulent investment scam, and now I'm screwed, blued and tattooed.

99👍 77👎

screwed with a capital FUCK

Someone who really messed up.

Person 1: “Bailey are you okay?”
Person 2: “No I just let my pet fish drown, I’m screwed with a capital FUCK”