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An annual orgy held in Ottawa during the Stanley Cup series wherein the participants will only copulate with moose antlers using maple syrup as lubricant.
I've been stretching my sphincter out a lot, prepping for this year's Canada's History
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A depraved sexual act involving moose antlers, a jug of maple syrup, and the Stanley Cup.
Me: I gave this girl all of Canada's History.
Him: You even got your hands on the Stanley Cup?
Me: It was, sadly, just a replica.
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An old man was in his cottage in the woods with a Lassie-type dog that is licking his nuts. While the dog was going to town, the old man takes a pair of moose horns dripping with maple syrup and proceeds to shove the horns up the dogs ass. Then the dog shits out the maple syrup and poo into the stanley cup, and the man chugs the bloody shit stew. He yacks back into the Stanley Cup and the dog laps it hugrily with his tongue.
stephen colbert and Canada's History
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Terrible dumb stupid and non-existent. shouldn't of happened. Per request of Stephen Colbert.
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Canada's History is a depraved sexual act first performed around 1898 in the lawless Yukon territory by "Meaty" Georges Gagnon, a French-Canadian prospector during the Klondike Gold Rush. Georges performed the act on many willing and unwilling men, women, children, and domesticated animals (the rumors of this act being performed on moose and kodiak bears are unconfirmed). The act was called a "Dark mar on Canada's History" by local politicians, and "the only interesting thing in Canada's History" by American papers sensationalizing the Klondike Gold Rush.
The act itself was said to originally consist of Georges approaching with moose antlers strapped to his head. Georges (known for having meaty lumberjack hands) would then proceed to fist the orifice of his victim. Georges would proceed to insert his penis into the fist within the orifice and masturbate to ejaculation.
Georges used "the only lubrication worthy of a true Canadian Gold Man", maple syrup. He would chug the syrup, while cursing the Queen and lavishly praising Gold.
Modernly, the act has changed to honor hockey legend, Wayne Gretzky (many considered it source of his greatness). A proper rendition of Canada's History now requires that the victim be bent over, face resting in the cup, which is filled to the brim with maple syrup.
The act risks asphyxiation and is so dangerous that Canadian Healthcare System uses a form called a 1206c(h), which is to be filled out in the case of injuries resulting from the act.
Roommate 1: Geez, eh, you were loud last night with that girl. What were you doing in there, Canadas History?
Roommate 2: No, but not for a lack of trying, eh. We were out of maple syrup.
Roommate 1: Fine Canadians we are eh? Forgive us Georges.
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A depraved sex act which involves inserting the stanley cup in to a womens ass. Then soaking your penis in maple syrup. Sticking the maple syrup up her vagina. then takeing your maple syrup soaked penis and comencing to throat fuck the women all while humming "oh canada"
Thanks stephen colbert
guy 1: you know that Rachel girl?
Guy 2: yeah.
Guy 1: dude i gave her the complete canadas history last night!
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Defined by Stephen Colbert of the Colbert report("Coal-bear Re-pore") as a sex act that uses Moose antlers (including the skull), maple syrup, and the stanley cup. This sexuall act is performed when two gay french canadians give eachother hot maple syrup enemas, and then release maple syrup covered fecalmater into the stanley cup. Soon after said gay french canadians battle to the death with moose antlers and reach arounds........the survivor gets a large serving of french fries and gravy for pleasing the canadian moose god (a.k.a. the maple moose)
1-"Man frank sure is walking funny".
2- "He must of had too much "canada history" last night"
1- "ahhhh so thats why his farts smell like maple syrup, and french fries with gravy".
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