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An insult that can be used as an alternative to "fuck me" or "fuck me sideways" and can avoid actions that look like fucking someone sideways. Also an insult that can be used against others because they are simply an ass or they are stupid, and as such, deserve really painful sex.
-Why the hell did you yell your ex's name when you had sex with your girl?
-Fuck me sideways with a sandpaper condom.
-Dude, where the hell are you?
-I'm stuck behind this old fart.
-Go fuck him sideways with a sandpaper condom, it's your damn fault you woke up late.
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When someone does something really stupid.
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A phrase that may be exclaimed in situations concerning stupid actions/accidents carried out by yourself.
It can be used to signify individuals near you that your poor motor skills coupled with hand-eye coordination are just as affective as bringing a pack of bubblegum instead of a grenade to war.
After taking the tray of Tater-Tots out of the oven, you remove the oven mittens.
While trying to grab one with your bare hands, you burn your wrist/arm/upper limb on the metal try.
* "Ouch! Fuck Me up the Goat Ass!"
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going down the steps and falling on your ass!!
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An exclamation of extreme shock and disbelief, whether at an event or a sight being witnessed.
Can also be used when you discover someone has been fucking you over.
Person 1: Holy shit! What the hell is that person doing?
Person 2: Well, fuck me figuratively up the ass, they're raping a dog.
Person 1: You have a date with Sally? You know, she has a boyfriend.
Person 2: Fuck me figuratively up the ass! Three months and she never said anything!
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When something stressful is going on and you would just rather die than work cause you're lazy af
Teacher: you have to hand in these 30 assignments by tomorrow
Student under his/her breath: Fuck me harshly with a chicken strip
A saying used or yelled out loud when you hurt yourself from stupidity.
I opened the cupboard to grab a glass out and as I shut it I pinched my finger so I grabbed my hand and yelled out loud, “FUCK ME AND CALL ME SALLY!” Works like a charm every time!
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