I can read a map

Used to express understanding of a situation or when something seems very obvious to you.

"Did you feel the tension in that room? I wonder if something is going on between those two."
"Yeah, I can read a map."
or
"Hey, I don't know if I was being too subtle but I would like to spend some 'quality time' with you later, if you know what I mean."
"yeah, I can read a map."

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Your Baby Can Read

A TV show or whatsoever that was made by Robert C. Titzer. WAIT NO-

Person 1: What are you watching?
Person 2: Your Baby Can Read.
Person 1: Isn't that for babies?
Person 2: Your such a asshole. Someday, you will know.
Person 1: Your not even a baby.
Person 2: I know. But I remembered this.
Person 1: But you are fucking *insert age*.

never catch me reading

Idoits who put on there social network accounts that you'll never catch them reading.

Oooh a friend request? *Reads the books in intrests* Never catch me reading? Fuck this guy.

Don't read too much into this

As in, don't get the wrong idea, I'm not interested.

Don't read too much into this, it's three in the morning but I don't anything intimate.

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Late Night Reading (LNR)

Douche band from Carmel, Indiana. Everyone from the city hates them but people from other states enjoy their music. Skinny jeans and hair that comes to a point are some ways to notice them.

"Hey have you heard of Late Night Reading (LNR)?"
"Yeah those queers that dropped out of our school that play shitty music."

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Read the Riot Act

This occurs after you make the first date after meeting online through social media. Everything has been going great until you meet in person and then your date “reads the riot act” firmly setting out their terms for how the dating and further relationship should progress.

Phil met Meghan on their first date only to be read the riot act, stating that she did not kiss on the first date, what days of week she was available, how he was to dress when they dated, the types of events she expected him to attend, etc.

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go read a book about india

Used to dismiss a vapid Internet argument; shows the poster needs to educate himself on the topic at hand.

"The 1968 Mets were the best baseball team ever? Why don't you go read a book about India?"

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