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"Soccer Mom" is a term made up during the election year 1996 to describe a white surburban homemaker wife who thinks that anything that is not explicitly Fundamentalist "Christian" is bad for her rotten little shits she calls her kids. She drives a bigass gas-guzzling SUV, tries to push her views on morality on everyone else, and goes shopping all the fucking time when she ain't taking her brats to soccer or piano practice or some other fucking stupid shit because she lives off her husband's wages. She gives money to a political party and tries to influence them to her standards. She's involved in PTA, the church "clique", you name it - she is influential and pushy in them all. In other words, an all-American stuck-up conforming judgmental BITCH.
Tipper Gore. Her kids got into drugs. I wonder why? Another example is the women who watch shit on the TV like that overblown yuppie Tupperware party that is called the View. On Sunday morning a Soccer Mom drops her daughter off to Sunday school, who then runs off with the cute boy in her class and they listen to a CD of "Satanic" music by U2, Pink Floyd, Rush or Ziggy Marley, then they smoke some Panama red and get it on in the grass.
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Women who are in the older crowd(Usually mothers) that sip wine throughout the night, and sometimes post on social media about it. Their posts are abnormally sincere, with comments made by fellow wine moms, relatives, or other parents. The main focus of a wine mom is to stay classy, share intriguing quotes(Usually decorated with graphics dating back in 2004), and to be the embodiment of Linda Belcher. The opposite of a Vodka Aunt.
Wine Moms on Facebook:
"Darling, size does matter... when it comes to your wine glass, LOL."
"Oh Linda, you're such a wild card!!! say hi to Bob and the kids for me!"
"LINDA,,, THIS IS GRANDMA GLORIA,,,, I'M TRYING TO SEND A FAX, CALL ME ASAP,,,"
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A soccer mom is a mom that lives in the suburbs,usually a homemaker,middle class or middle high class from the ages from 30-50 that have children.A soccer mom transport all her kids and everyone elses kids in either a minivan,sherman tank suv or a stationwagon.A soccer mom thinks her kids are angels when in reality the kids are a bunch of spoiled brat devils.A soccer mom life is very uniformed and want to keep up with the jones.When see a soccer mom by herself in her mini van or sherman tank suv means all the kids have been dropped off all school events.A soccer mom hang out paradise is a mall and spend tons of money on over price clothes for herself and the kids.May go for an overprice coffee.A cell phone is a soccer mom best friend to avoid those quiet moments to shoot the gossup with all rest of the soccer mom clan.A soccer mom version of dinner for the kids is go to mcdonalds and get the kids a happy meal.The type of music that a soccer mom will play for the kids is music from radio disney because it sound so wholesome.It is music for the whole family.A soccermom is an obsessed christian thinking if it isnt christian it is evil.Alot of soccer mom join organizations MAHR,PMRC,ESRP or some censorship group to think they are going to change the world and make it wholesome.A soccer mom doesn't believe in being an individual.A soccer mom want to become part of a bandwagon.A soccer lives a lifestyle being molded and sculpted on what society want her to be.
My example of a soccer mom driving in traffic is cutting everyone off in traffic.Have a hard time finding a parking space for the sherman tank suv.A soccer mom is known to be driving with a coffee on one hand and a cell phone on the other hand.May barely reach the steering wheel.
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1. The reason we have little nuisances like the ESRB RIAA and FCC
2. Any DECENT person's worst nightmare (right next to Billy Ray Cyrus)
3. Mothers who think that by making there kids slaves to pop culture, it would make up for the fact that they live shitty, cocaine-infested lives.
Teen: *Buying M-Rated game*
Soccer Mom: You're not 17. You have to be 17 or older to buy that game.
Cashier: Sorry, I can't sell this to you.
Soccer Mom: Games like this poison your mind.
Teen: No, assholes like you poison my mind.
Soccer Moms are like AOL cds, for every one that you get rid of, 10 more spring up.
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Dumb whores who have nothing better to do than drive their son to soccer practice, bitch to the clerk in the EB Games/GameStop store at the mall about how violent video games are "Polluting our youth's minds" and orders them to take them off the shelves and no longer sell them, and get in car wrecks with their gigantic minivan/SUV.
Soccer Moms are dumb.
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The hottest, sexiest, bitch ever. biggest booty and titties. And Matt himself has a shitty computer
Matt's mom banged me hard
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A mother who doesn't do shit for her kids but will post on her kids Facebook wall like she's parent of the year.
She never picks her kids up on her court appointed days, doesn't pay child support, can't throw down $20 for her kids sports yet:
Kid Facebook: Ugh I'm so sick, when will I get better?
Facebook Mom: Whatever you need I can be there within the hour.
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