Turtle Dip

Tea-bagging someone with a turd hanging half-way out of your asshole. Preferably, the recipient will be blind-folded or closing their eyes to keep them in suspense over whether they are about to get the ballsack or the shit with every successive dip.

"I gave your mother the turtle dip, not because she is such a whore but because I thought it would make her stop trying to fuck me."

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Turtle Farmer

one who farms turtles for a living.

a light insult when you dont want to get all vulgar. Unless you want to get vulgar then you add it to a vile slew of words

Guy1: Thats not a tortoise, that's a red eared slider.

Guy2: What are you a fucking turtle farmer?

You goddamn mutha fucking shit rolling dick lactating crack licking turtle farmer

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ninja turtles

It is a group of 5 frineds Leonardo, Raphael, Michelangelo, Donatello and their sensei, Master Splinter and they spend their nights making fun of others behide their backs and they get a kick out of it.

I went out with the ninja turtles last night and they are still the same old people making fun of people it is just sad.

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turtle thump

unsatisfying coitus with an extremely small penis... so small, in fact, it is sucked up into the man's body like the head of a turtle, nearly making intercourse completely impossible altogether.

Brian: "It's just sad when you please a women and they go crazy. She was begging for another donkey punch."

Kelly: "...more like a turtle thump"

Turtle Nest

When a man comes out of a hot shower and his testicles shrivels up into a turtle nest”.

Yum this shower was pretty good eh jimmy, my balls started to turtle nest.

turtle top

When your mom climbs up to ride and accidentally crushes you

Daquan: Get that ass up here mom
*Mom tries but smashes Daquan*
Daquan: Damn ma! Why you gotta turtle top me like that?!

suicidal turtle

A turtle with suicidal thoughts and tendencies

I think my turtle is a suicidal turtle, he drank poison today.