Safety husband

A safety husband is a close friend that you love and who you have agreed to marry and or hand a kid with once you’ve reached a certain age if you both remain single.

''Deal! I'm your safety husband''

If we are still single by 30 will you be my safety husband?

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safety game

Doorknob is a game in which participants are supposed to say "safety" after they flatuate before other participants say "doorknob". This is known as "calling doorknob". If other participants call doorknob before the flatulater calls safety, then the non-flatuting participants are encouraged to physically assault the flatulater until he or she touches a doorknob. The game is generally assumed to be continuously active, and participants are frequently forced into the game unexpectedly, even against their will.

Rules of safety game
When an individual flatuates, he or she must say the word "safety" in a clear tone so as to be heard by those around him.
If the individual fails to say "safety", participants may say the word "doorknob".
At that time, participants may physically punish the individual who flatuated.
The individual must immediately seek a doorknob 1 and touch it. Once the individual touches said doorknob, the beating must cease.

Variations
Many variations exist when doorknobs are either not accessible, or too accessible. A common variation is to replace the doorknob with something that the participants consider undesirable to touch, or something that is impossible, or nearly so, to touch.

Footnotes
^ In strict canon, only a true doorknob is eligible for play. However, in many social circles, house rules have been developed to allow the use of latches, handles, and other devices depending on the general availability of true knobs.

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safety nazi

(n.) A person obsessed with safety and possessing a fascist belief that everyone who believes otherwise is irresponsible, reckless, and should be publicly chastised.

Commonly have children who wear helmets to do virtually anything fun and are responsible for child proof cigarette lighters, the disappearance of fireworks, and for laws requiring use of seat-belts and motorcycle helmets. Also includes almost anything related to OSHA. Common to internet bulletin boards dealing with outdoor adventure.

syn. safety police

I remember the day when you could actually buy bottle rockets and fire crackers, but the safety nazis took care of that.

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safety squint

the squint made when operating power tools without eye protection. Done when you don't want to look like a nancy for wearing goggles.

Those safety glasses make me look gay, so I just used the safety squint.

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Hunter safety

1. Acting in a safe manner while hunting that ensures that everyone returns home safely and uninjured.

2. Something that Dick Cheney does not practice while hunting.

3. Standing directly behind the Vice President when the Vice President is armed.

4. Assuming that elected officials have no idea how to have safe hunts in which everyone comes home.

Dick Cheney did not practice Hunter safety, and he's lucky the guy he shot was only injured.

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Safety Scotch

Similar to Safety Beer but for those with more serious drinking problems. It's Saturday night and you haven't made plans yet so you stop by the liquor store and buy a bottle of Glen Parker to get you through any after hours activities. Real men plan ahead and buy a 12 pack of Glen Parker which could eliminate the need to make extra trips to the liquor store for bottles of Scotch on following weekends.

"Anyone getting together for Rock Band or a toga party later tonight? I'll stop by Spec's and pick up a bottle of Glen Parker Safety Scotch just in case."

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safety gyros

A Greek kebab consumed whilst extremely drunk to prevent a hangover or other ugly consequences

I'm absolutely fucked I'm going for a safety gyros