Random
Source Code
Random
The Battle of Alberta is the one-sided rivalry between the cities of Edmonton, Alberta and Calgary, Alberta. It is most famous for the battles between the NHLs Edmonton Oilers and Calgary Flames, and to a lesser extent the Edmonton Eskimos and Calgary Stampeders.
Why is it so one-sided? Because Edmonton has consistently kicked Calgarys ass in the NHL and CFL playoffs. The Flames have yet to win a playoffs series cleanly against the Oilers, and the Stampeders are a joke compared to the crown jewel of the CFL; the Edmonton Eskimos.
Edmonton is easily the better city as well.
Edmonton always has the last laugh in the Battle of Alberta, but Calgary would kill Edmonton if it were the "Battle of the Greasiest Mullets", or the "Battle of Ugliest Chicks"...
Q: What's the difference between a bucket of shit and a Flames fan?
A: The bucket.
91👍 60👎
An orgy involving one woman, generally middle aged, and at least five guys. The men first abstain from masturbating or having intercourse for at least three days, in order to increase the potency and quantity of their ejaculation. The orgy begins when the men stand in a circle around the woman, who is kneeling on the ground. They proceed to circle jerk, ejaculating simultaneously on her head (so that she is covered in the "snow"). They then proceed to gang-bang the woman - pausing first to tweak on some crystal meth. Originated in Ft. MacMurray Alberta, where due to the oil sands there is a largely transient population of male workers (a.k.a rig-pigs), and relatively few females.
Rig-pig 1: How's it goin' eh? Did you bone that chick from the bar last night?
Rig -pig 2: Naw man, I had to share with my buddies. Showed her an Alberta Snowstorm.
10👍 3👎
A clit piercing, derived from the slang term for a penile piercing- prince albert.
"That prostitute has a princess alberta!"
27👍 16👎
A used condom found floating in a lake or river.
Man I was rafting the other day and ran into an Alberta Jellyfish! Now I gotta get tested!
11👍 7👎
An intense rivalry between Edmonton and Calgary (Alberta, Canada), usually refering to hockey. During Battles of Alberta, fans of the Calgary Flames and Edmonton Oilers flood the bars of both cities.
Flame and Oiler supporters from both side of a family have been known to cause rifts in the family.
A Battle of Alberta is often held on New Year's Eve.
But only Calgary has the Red Mile and Sea of Red and has made it into the playoffs the past few years. So Calgary kicks butt.
A true conversation had in Australia regarding the Battle of Alberta:
Calgarian: Hey, you're Canadian, aren't you? Where from?
Edmontonian: Edmonton.
Calgarian: Oh. In thought something stunk in here.
18👍 13👎
The Alberta Triangle is an extremely dangerous, dirty, and crime infested region correlating triangularly via the three points of Albertan cities Edmonton, Lethbridge, and Red Deer.
Sodomy, incest, rampant beastiality amongst livestock, and heavy crack-cociane usage are religiously practiced within the populations of all regarded cities.
Several men have mysteriously dissappeared within this region, including numerous high school foot ball and hockey teams. Trucks transporting livestock (ie, cattle and horses) have too mysteriously vanished.
I caught that man from Lethbridge fucking my dog. Upon closer inspection I noticed not only the man, but his entire family from Edmonton lined up behind him, while they fucked each other.
Avoid the Alberta Triangle, or you may risk death by sodomy.
That women's upper left lip touches the bottom right of her nose! She must be from Red Deer.
My cousin moved to Edmonton, now he is a crack head.
32👍 33👎
an absolute shithole of a town filled with pot smoking cousin fucking ppl you never want to move to lamont
i drove through lamont alberta today and seen a bunch of kids smoking at the triangle and a guy mowing his lawn but naked fuckin mint