Booth Bros, scientifically referred to as hyphasuburbium pompositis, are a type of white male between the ages of 35-45, measuring about 5’6”-5’8” in height and 150-190 lbs weight, commonly inhabiting Chicago suburbs. Their diet mostly consists of Michelin star meals and Wholefoods bought items. They originated during the covid times, when they experienced mid-life crisis and went out looking for an expensive distraction i.e. an MBA from Chicago Booth. Despite their origins in Chicago-burbs, they are now also prevalent in suburbs of other major cities in the United States.
Booth bros are characterized mainly by their unique suaveness, a combination of bro-like behavior and dad-like humor, but can be noted by many other distinguishing features, such as:
1. Semi-formal or fancy-casual attire, with a focus on shoes
2. Conservative, yet carefully maintained hair
3. Successful careers usually in business or finance
4. Whiskey/wine connoisseurs with inhumanly high alcohol tolerance
5. Obscure and dated pop-culture references
6. Sports enthusiasts, but only to watch on TV or their kids' sports teams; they also love control hence manage or participate in fake sports teams which they refer to as ‘fantasy sports’
Booth bros are extremely social by nature and often the loudest voices in any conversation. Some lesser obvious, and often overlooked, characteristics of this group is their universal generosity and sincere devotion to their mates and offspring.
- "Naah man, he doesn't live downtown anymore. He moved to the suburbs and got Booth bro-ed."
- Anthony: "Why are the Booth bros in the city today?"
Ana: "Oh, they are just lunching at Alinea"
Basically what a booth babe turns into while you're at other tradeshows. Much in evidence due to the poor economy.
She's been divorced at least once; smokes; has a peeling tan; hugs every man she gets close to and the perfect specimen has both a stupid name (or a good name spelled oddly) and a job title that is actually one step up from receptionist if you look at it too closely enough.
Salesguy: "Hey, meet Janneene. She's our Director of Marcom Integration."
You: "Behind the booth slapper?!"
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When your railing her from behind and you pull out and bust a nut so hard it shoots her in the back of the head and she never saw it coming.
I was absolutely railing on Theresa last night. She got that vice grip pussy. I rearranged her for about 45 minutes and couldn’t hold it. I pulled out and gave her the old Wilkes Booth. Damn bear blew the back of her head off. She had to shower and wash that matted crusty shit out.
Very attractive girls placed in corporate exhibit booths as hostesses in high tech conventions and exhibitions, hired as consultants for the occasion to lure nerds into the booth.
The Tech Con this year is replete with booth bait up and down the main exhibit aisle.
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A person who sits alone in a booth, monopolizing that booth and keeping larger groups from using it.
That fat, ugly girl over there is such a booth jew because she damn-well knows noone is going to want to sit with her. There goes four perfectly good seats.
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A male or female who while karaoke is being sung in a bar sings along to every single song and knows every song. But they will never actually get up and sing one, and also they are not intoxicated whatsoever.
"my friend levi is such a booth singer he was just singin away to james blunt but when we asked him to sing a song he says no and just sings them all at the booth (therefore he is the booth singer)"
One of the most romantic places ever, if you think about it. Just you and your lover, making funny faces and kissing as photos are taken of you. Outside the photo booth could be a busy mall or street corner, but in there, it's just the two of you enjoying eachother, and you'll have pictures to remember it by.
Also a pretty good Death Cab song.
Oh look, it's a photo booth. Got any quarters?
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