Calorie Cops

When you are overweight and eat something fattening in public and someone says: "Are you sure you should be eating that?"
When you are quite thin, but some nosy scrotesque underweight old man sees that you have a big bag of M&M's and says: "It'll make ya fat."
When you are thin and someone who likes fat people tells you you're too thin. This is usually sexual harassment.

"I was trying to eat a doughnut one morning, but someone called the Calorie Cops. They were eating them too."
"I was proud of my thin new shape and this pervert who keeps trying to flirt with me said I should eat more. What is he, the Calorie Cops?"
Some people were making fun of fat people in line, and I said: "Shut up, you fvck!ng Calorie Cops!"

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three calories

Extremely small breasts. Derived from "tic tacs," one and a half calories each times two. (see also "tic tacs")

"That chick aint got no kinda titties! She only got three calories n shit!"

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calorie shaming

Calories shaming is someone fit or in shape, point out to you that you shouldn't eat something based on the number of calories that are in the food or drink. Don't get a large drink, it has 350 calories, get a medium, it has 250. You just had breakfast, you don't need the extra calories.

don't order a double cheeseburger, you don't need the calories. Quit calorie shaming me. Mom's and frienemies are the worst at calorie shaming

Calorie Sponge

Used to define a fat chick who seems to think being thicc is acceptably sexy

‘Yo this bitch hit me up said she was thicker then a snickers, but man one look and I could see she was just a big calorie sponge’

Phantom Calorie

aka Ghost Calorie, when someone engages in a strict diet but still gets fat.

'She's been on like a diet since like 2002, wtf is wrong with those like phantom calories.' - Elaine

Calorie Troll

Somebody who is so strapped for calories and desperate to make their macros that they resort to eating olive oil

Dain: Have you seen Marks meal plan?
Connor: Yea, he blends olive oil into his protein shake. What a calorie troll

burn calories

the healthy way of having sex.

another way of saying "having sex"

Ashley and KD like to burn calories.

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