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Highly dangerous statue, capable of extremely fast movement when not being observed. Snaps necks, making a ‘crunch’ sound. Commonly known as SCP-173.
D Class 1: Oh shit, it’s Captain Crunch! Keep your eyes on it!
D Class 2: Blinking!
Captain Crunch snaps D Class 2’s neck.
D Class 2: CRUNCH!
Something totally crazy or absurd
Thinking the government can give us everything for free is like collecting Captain Crunch Glock box top coupons