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Source Code
Random
A hilarous vine
Somebody asked hayes something she said your not my dad
21👍 5👎
same.
person one: my dad left
person two: my mom left for cookies
7👍 1👎
A statement of obvious fiction but believed to be true by the uneducated to be used in cases of awkward silences, as a result of too much caffeine, etc.
My dad is dead.
-He is?
Yeah he died this morning.
-I'm sorry to hear that.
Haha I'm lying you are an idiot.
48👍 22👎
A child who's farther is a lawyer. This child is usually stuck up, posh and rich. The child is usually a boy who hates poor people and looks down on the, for not being well educated. Women throw themselves at hi, and are after his money and rich lifestyle.
My dads a lawyer
Black guy- imma beat you up , this is my hood
White boy- you dare lay a finger on me I'm calling my dad....my dads a lawyer
10👍 6👎
Guy who kidnaps a child pretending to be his dad and then rapes him
4👍 1👎
1. Due to the seperation of two parents, the father gets you every other weekend. This is supposedly compensation for the whole week.
2. Escape from a mongrol mother.
Mom: So you take her every other weekend and I have her the rest of the time and you can only have her if you pay $200 in child support. Sound good?
Dad: Do I have a CHOICE?
Mom: You do. Either that, or see her an hour a week. Which one?
Dad: The first deal sounds like a proper "compensation". *rolls eyes*
Me: Hey, at least I'm going to my dad's.
Mom: YOU BROKE THE GODDAMN COMPUTER I CAN'T FUCKING STAND THIS WHY DON'T YOU MOVE IN WITH YOUR FATHER SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT YOU LITTLE BRAT I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU-
Me: Jesus. Is it the weekend I get to go to my dad's yet?
Going to my dad's sounds GREAT right now.
12👍 7👎
"U not my dad" is used as a reply when someone who isn't a family member (specifically your dad) tells you to do something and you reply with, "you not my dad".
Step dad: "austin pick that shit up"
Austin : "u not my dad u always tryna say something fuckn stupid ass noodle head"
4👍 2👎