married up

When someone's other half is better than them.

Back in the day this would have been used of marrying someone higher up in society, but nowadays it's just generally when someone is punching above their weight in the romance department. If you use it about yourself it's a compliment. If someone else uses it about you, they basically think you're ugly.

"Did your wife make you those sandwiches? They look amazing."
"I know! I married up."

OR

"Buck-toothed Jimmy just got married! Check out the wedding shots!"
"She is hot. That guy seriously married up!"

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being married

the #1 cause of divorce

divorced guy: my wife divorced me
other guy: you should’ve never gotten married

divorved guy: oh yeah ig being married does cause divorce

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Gary Marry

New term used for same sex marriage.

"I want to Gary Marry you!"

married to the sea

The daily webcomic by the creators of Toothpastefordinner and Natalie Dee, generally a little off-the-wall and at least chuckle-invoking. Each update is a Victorian-style drawing (thing) with the punchline generally being delivered by the text.

"MTTS" debuted February 13, 2006 and has gained considerable popularity, or so one would think. There is a store where you can buy bags or shirts for a decent price, like TPFD and ND.

"Oh god. People are still reading Hamlet? Jesus. I wrote that shit in like one fortnight. I owed some people some money, you know what I'm saying? Shakespeare got to get paid, son."

The first Married to the Sea comic, with the above quote next to a picture of Shakespeare.

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post-married

Adj. Describes someone in the process of getting a divorce. Not exactly married, and not exactly single, either.

In his post-married life, Nestor was reluctant to date anyone, lest his soon-to-be-ex-wife or her lawyer get wind of it.

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marry up

To wed a partner with a social status well above one's own.

Senator Kerry knows how to marry up.

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jewish married

When you are married by default, as any similarly aged people of opposite gender must be if a Jewish grandmother is involved in the decision making. Its like an arranged marriage, without the actual marriage.

Oh, him? We are basically jewish married. My grandmother decided it the first time she met him, even though we've never dated.

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