mom

The foreman of your first residence, the baby factory.

878 Fallopian Lane
Uterus, MOM 12345

533👍 268👎

mom

made of money

m=made
o=of
m=money

mom: do you think im made of money?
kid: isn't that what mom stands for?

50👍 20👎

mom

a common joke that teenagers use when they are too lame to come up with any other comeback.

man 1: Dude! you're so lame!

man 2: you're mom is lame.

112👍 53👎

mom

Woman who is convinced she is always right, never makes mistakes, nothing is her fault, and that you're never good enough.

She likes to chew food loudly, drink gin and tonics, and then chew on the ice.

She enjoys yelling and pointing out things you do wrong.

She hates everyone and everyone hates her, and she likes to point that out while lying on her bed while complaining that you don't do enough.

She is the soul cause of your depression, the concusion you suffered when you were 10, and your obsession and anxiety problems.

You love her.

"Hey Mom can I have a few dollars to buy pens that I need for school."

"No, I don't have any money...Oh look, my custom Neiman Marcus suit came in the mail."

1411👍 796👎

Mom

Dat lady who drives you nuts but who you can’t help but love....... hopefully. Amazing woman Super short. LOVES FLOWERS! Hates guns and most definitely dislikes you.

Mom: will you be home for dinner?

You: nope.

Mom: GET OUT OF MY HOUSE THEN DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH EFORT IT TOOK TO COOK IT!!! Sit down boy and let me tell you!

You: ugh.
Mom: so I was at Starbucks.......

21👍 6👎

mom

The one person a daughter can hate the most
mothers can:
-be bitches
-invade your privacy
-believe thier always right
-nag and complain constantly
-hit you for no reason
-cause public embarassment
-make you break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend
and the list could go on...the only thing to thank a mother for is the gift of life THAT'S IT

kid: "I hate you"

mom: "I brought you into this world, I can take you out"

428👍 248👎

Mom

some woman you didn't chose to be with yet you are stuck with your entire life until you move out. bitch who always thinks she's right, and if you DARE say she's wrong all hell breaks loose. nags the shit out of you about how you don't do enough chores. goes apeshit if you dont get perfect grades. tells you that you have to be forever grateful that she brought you into this world.

"do the laundry! clean your room! get better grades! your a failure and will never make it in life!" -mom
"FUCK MY LIFE!!!!!!" - me

285👍 160👎