your not my dad

A hilarous vine

Somebody asked hayes something she said your not my dad

21👍 5👎

my dad left

same.

person one: my dad left
person two: my mom left for cookies

7👍 1👎

My Dad is Dead

A statement of obvious fiction but believed to be true by the uneducated to be used in cases of awkward silences, as a result of too much caffeine, etc.

My dad is dead.
-He is?
Yeah he died this morning.
-I'm sorry to hear that.
Haha I'm lying you are an idiot.

48👍 22👎

my dads a lawyer

A child who's farther is a lawyer. This child is usually stuck up, posh and rich. The child is usually a boy who hates poor people and looks down on the, for not being well educated. Women throw themselves at hi, and are after his money and rich lifestyle.

My dads a lawyer

Black guy- imma beat you up , this is my hood
White boy- you dare lay a finger on me I'm calling my dad....my dads a lawyer

10👍 6👎

ur not my dad

Guy who kidnaps a child pretending to be his dad and then rapes him

UR NOT MY DAD BUTCH

4👍 1👎

going to my dad's

1. Due to the seperation of two parents, the father gets you every other weekend. This is supposedly compensation for the whole week.

2. Escape from a mongrol mother.

Mom: So you take her every other weekend and I have her the rest of the time and you can only have her if you pay $200 in child support. Sound good?
Dad: Do I have a CHOICE?
Mom: You do. Either that, or see her an hour a week. Which one?
Dad: The first deal sounds like a proper "compensation". *rolls eyes*
Me: Hey, at least I'm going to my dad's.

Mom: YOU BROKE THE GODDAMN COMPUTER I CAN'T FUCKING STAND THIS WHY DON'T YOU MOVE IN WITH YOUR FATHER SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT YOU LITTLE BRAT I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU-
Me: Jesus. Is it the weekend I get to go to my dad's yet?
Going to my dad's sounds GREAT right now.

12👍 7👎

My Dad is a Cop

A type of teenagers who think they can get away with everything. These teenagers are snobs and snitches. Their parents can buy them anything and they have never paid for anything they have. Pathetic excuse for a child.

My dad is a cop. He pays for all of my Armani bags and Rolex watches. He does everything I need.

Don’t do that! My dad is a cop! He will have you arrested!

4👍 2👎