Victim #1: "Hey, there's a guy coming our way, on skis, and he's got a rifle strapped around his shoulder! WTF does he want?"
Victim #2: "Og shit! Get down!! It's a Norwegian drive-by!!"
36๐ 5๐
A vampiric female that can live up to 300 years. This particular breed sucks the life out of a human not by blood, rather by sperm. Despite their age, their aging process is relative to that of humans (i.e. a 200 year old Norwegian Vampire will look like a 60 year old woman). Norwegian Vampires can only birth females, which is why no one has ever seen a male Norwegian Vampire.
When they bite, they don't go for the neck as a traditional vampire does. Instead, she might seduce you into your hotel room or roofie your drink to bring you to her own home, where she gives you the best blow job of your life, undoubtedly due to her centuries of experience. In the midst of the action, she lowers her head and aims for the scrotum, maybe telling you to "relax" as she leans in to massage your testacles with her tongue. Then, in a matter of seconds, you feel an intense pain in your genitals, and you pull back only to realize that her locked fangs are penetrating your scrotum, causing your entire ball sac to tear off from the sudden jerk. She spits both testacles into her hands and inserts them into each nostril, forcefully sucking the sperm dry out of each one with a prolonged breath in order to live another day. As you scream on the floor in pain, she eats the pruned remainder of what were once testes in one gulp, and may also swallow the scrotum as well depending on her taste.
Johnny: "Wow, Miss Gilbert from across the street is hot. Isn't she single?"
Johnny's friend: "Hey, before you get any ideas, I heard Matt talking about a Norwegian Vampire living nearby before he went missing. They found his neutered body last night in the ditch two blocks down."
14๐ 1๐
In Norway, close to no-one asks if you can pass them something. Instead norwegians use their Norwegian arms to reach across the table and grab what they want.
He reached over the table with his Norwegian arms.
When Your girlfriend gives you a BJ while being upside down, so your balls cover her eyes...!
..damn, we were having quality time and then I decided it was time for here to wear Norwegian sunglasses; she was upside Down and giving me a BJ and my balls covered her eyes!
When a group of up to three male spring breakers come together on a cruise ship to form a "brotherhood" with the intentions of hanging out at all times, sleeping in the same room, and working together to secure all possible sexual opportunities with female spring breakers aboard said cruise ship. Chants of "1 2 3 WINGMEN!" are often ritualistic proceedings before entering the dancefloor.
They barely knew each other before that spring break cruise, but they became norwegian bros by the third day.
23๐ 3๐
Norwegian Supremacy. Norwegian Supremacy is something those who are born in Norway, knows Norwegian or people who have achieved it through someone who has it who can give you the title.
If you have Norwegian Supremacy you are in a state of complete control and awareness of yourself. Your cells and biological processes, your breaths and thoughts, your movements and emotions, your conscious and un/subconscious, etc. You have complete control.
When you have Norwegian Supremacy you are basically immune to people who don't have it. You are completely more worth than everything else, you have the power of Norwegians. The most advanced specimen ever to be created. You are complete, the best. People can call you anything, but it won't matter. Norwegian Supremacy got your back.
People with Norwegian Supremacy are supposed to stand by each other's side. They are there for each other, and at any point, they can help these lesser specimen by using their Norwegian Supremacy to help.
There are people who can never achieve this Supremacy and even Norwegian's who can lose it. These are racists, pedos, rapists and other bullshit, people. Oh and also no Swedish people can ever get this, they are just.. Meh.
Mikkel: "Yo, did you hear about Lisa? She apparently got depression and everything.."
Dan: "Yeah, I did, but everything is fine since Pรฅl already helped her. He apparently used his Norwegian Supremacy to help her deal with the problems. And it worked because we all know..."
Mikkel: "Norwegian Supremacy works with everything! Except for Swedes of course.."
13๐ 1๐
During anal sex, just before the man orgasms, he sticks his finger up his own ass then shoves it into the unsuspecting girl's mouth, inducing a violent gag reflex, causing her anus to tightly grip the man's shaft for a magical experience.
Michael thought Jill's asshole was too loose to achieve orgasm, so he decided to give her a great big Norwegian hug. Jill wasn't happy after tasting poop on Micheal's finger.