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A lame excuse for abstaining from sex
"He was hot, and I really wanted to hit the sheets with him. But I couldn't, because I'm, you know, religious."
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A series of fanciful concepts that people believe as to:
- Help themselves get up in the morning, achive inner peace, etc.
- Keep their family happy, because all their family are in the religion.
- Feel superior to other people.
- Provide moral guidance because common sense would render them otherwise lame.
- Justify war or general hatred of other groups.
Wow, so we can, like, kill abortionists if we join the right sect of the right religion? Well fuck me, religion it is!
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Religion is like a penis:
1) It's okay to have one.
2) It's okay to be proud of it.
3) It's NOT okay to pull it out in public.
4) It's NOT okay to shove it down little children's throats.
1)
I am religious.
2)
I LOVE my religion!
3)
Mike: Hey Bryan, how are you doing?
Bryan: SHUT UP! YOU'LL BURN IN HELL FOR YOUR SINS!
4)
Suck my religion, little child.
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A strong belief and following in a higher/supreme being. Many follow a strict code of moral conduct which can vary from religion to religion. A very sensative subject to most people. One of the main causes of war and violence. If you want to piss someone off very fast, attack their religion.
Famous examples include the Jesuites vs. the Japanese in the 14th century and modern Christians vs. everyone else.
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We have our solution. IT'S FINAL. Our final solution. No further investigation required.
Hym "Do ya... Do you get it? Religion? Do you see what I did there? No? Ok. You're clearly not getting it... Alright I'll spell it out for you... You ready? Ok. I subverted a the paradigm. See? Nah... You don't get it."
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Verb. Engaging in religious activities with the pure intent of shaming others, achieving prominence, and other forms of self-promotion. Said activities are motivated for personal gain, and do not have any connection to the underlying principles for which the religious activity was based on. Devoid of spirituality. Usually highly annoying for other people to be around.
Kyle: "I saw Tony praying on the street corner and reading his Bible again for everyone to see. Its so annoying because he beats his wife at home."
Garrett: "Ugh. There is he is religioning again."
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1. Something created by mankind on the 8th day (after the earth created mankind) to instill fear in the common masses who can't see beyond logic.
2. The opiate of the dumbasses.
A man was talking with me one afternoon and he started to go on and on about God and Jesus like they were people he was partying with last weekend. So when I had enough of his religion bull shit, I knocked out his four front teeth with a tire iron and said, "Why didn't God or Jesus do something to stop that ass whipping you just got, you know, since you all are "boys". Seems to me that your savior would have done something unless (a.) he doesn't give a shit, or (b.) he doesn't exist.
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