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A swashbuckling, manipulative pirate who sails the seas while destroying everyones plans and drinking rum. current crimes include, but are not limited to: impersonating an officer of the Royal Navy; impersonating a clergy of the Church of England; arson; kidnapping; perjury; piracy; pilfering; deprivation of a Federal Loyalist. Interests include rum-drinking, sword-fighting, prostitutes, and the sea.
"Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid. "
"Can we pretend she is anything but a woman scorned, like which hell hath no?"
"You want you to find this, because the finding of this finds you incapacitorially finding and or locating in your discovering the detecting of a way to save your dolly belle, ol' what's-her-face. Savvy? "
"Mr. Gibbs, now where is that monkey, I want to shoot something!"
"No. If we don't have the key, we can't open whatever it is we don't have that it unlocks. So what purpose would be served in finding whatever need be unlocked, which we don't have, without first having found the key what unlocks it? "
"Why is the rum always gone?"
-Jack Sparrow
24👍 2👎
The best of all, the worst of all, a dumbass, a genius, the cheesiest, the funniest... In short terms, everything and the opposite!!
"He's the worst Pirate of the Caribean!!"
*5 min later*
"He's the best Pirate of the Caribean!!"
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If you know a Jake Sparrow he most likely looks like that kid from toy story (the one who kills the toys).
Jake Sparrow looks like that kid from toy story lol
The best Pirate to ever sail the ocean blue. (Sexiest too...)
Jack Sparrow could make the skies cry with his looks and witty nature.
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Captian Jack Sparrow- Is the Hottest pirate ever! And that eyeliner and the way he walks around is so great!
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The earliest time of the morning. About the time when all the sparrows get up and let out a little fart signifying their awakening.
I gotta get up this morning at sparrow's fart. What a raid.
241👍 55👎
Utilizing a coat hanger as a hook, the approaching a friend by the rear and placing it between his legs and pulling up as hard as possible while whispering parle in his right ear
My anus is killing me cause I just got the jack sparrow . But I can't hit him cause he whispered parle
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