pole-toucher

Slang term for a member of the LDS faith. Refers to the vision of Nephi in Nephi Book 1 Chapter 8. Can be combined with "Joey" to make "pole-touchin' Joeys."

"Here, have some of my homebrew."
"No thanks."
"Why, are you a pole-toucher or something?"

"Mom, can I watch an R-rated movie?"
"No honey. Now run along to church with the rest of us pole-touchin' Joeys."

tip toucher

a man who touches the tip of his penis to the tip of another man's penis.

Jake and Aaron are totally gay together. they're such tip touchers

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Meat Toucher

Funnier than Kafka-esque.

You should make the sign read, no meat touching ma'am!

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water toucher

a penis long enough to touch the water in the toilet while going number two

i've seen your penis and it aint no water toucher

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water toucher

a continuous fecal ejection that reaches the water before breaking away from the anus

i just did a water toucher get the axe

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boy toucher

A tall man with a dirty beard, wearing glasses and has tattoos. Might also drive a Rabbit.

Hey I hear that Jake is a boy toucher.

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shit toucher

Anyone within shouting distance of your vehicle; Must be made aware of what they are via an open window; May also be referred to as a "poop toucher" when youth and/or elderly are present.

1.) "I'll tell you who drives a green truck . . . a SHIT TOUCHER, that's who!"

2.) "TOUCH POOP!"

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