two

the number of genders there are

Guy one: how many genders are there?
Guy two: two.

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two-one-two

When a woman goes down on her man in a movie theatre and they're the only ones that that row. To someone who's just spotted them, this person would see two heads, then one head, then two heads again, thus: two-one-two

I walked late into my movie and noticed that I wasn't alone, there was a two-one-two going on up in the last row.

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that’s two

Something you say when someone says some unbelievably stupid shit, usually followed by two backhanded slaps on the arm.

Guy 1:”Ew what’s that coming out of my asshole?”
Guy 2:”It’s shit.”
Guy 1:”Ohhh.”
Guy 2: “That’s two.” *slaps arm twice*

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twos

An exclamation made to show ownership of a seat in a room. When getting up from one's seat, proclaiming twos leaves this particular spot branded by the one who was sitting in it until they return. Sitting in someone's seat after having called twos often times leads to both physical and verbal attacks. Twos must be called while still touching the seat and is invalid if called while standing up. In the instance that he who called twos is to take a seat anywhere else, twos is immediately cancelled and the seat is once again up for grabs. Twos is not valid if he who calls it leaves in a vehicle with expectations of getting their seat back when they return. One is allowed to take a bathroom break and call twos without the toilet counting as another seat.

Zack: What the hell are you doing in my seat?

Greg: You didn't call twos bro, the seat is mine!

Zack: Bullshit!

*commence fight to the death*

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two

double good bye (in addition to 'one')

cya cya, bye bye, peace peace, one two out
alright man, cya later, one... ok later, two...

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Twos

Originally meaning to roll a cigarrette out of tobacco made from the butts of previous smokes, but ofetn taken to mean sharing a cigarrette. The practice is supposed to have originated in prisons.

1. I ran out of grettes so I'm smoking twos until I find some change

2. (A)Can you twos me blad
(B) Nah, it's my last one

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two

Used by Cub-Scout Colour-Guards where I'm from, (not really pretty universal) usually to dismiss the plebs that are ruled by the benevolent speaker of the Colour-Guards.
(Example is at end of a Scout event because before the Scout event would be too long)

Color guard, attention. Will the audience please rise?
Color guard, advance, Scout salute.
Color guard, retire the colors. (Flags)
Two.

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