A noun which is a similie for the term 'pussy' thus meaning the female gentalia. Or, to be blunt, the vagina. Its existence owes itself to the somehow holey and spongy nature of the vagina. It can be used both factually and in slang.
"Her crumpet was perfectly healthy, despite her concerns."
"Lads, I'm on the hunt for some crumpet tonight"
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A code word used for weed to keep suspicious parents in the dark.
Hey James, me you and Laura gona go eat some crumpets later?
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1. Tasty Breakfast
2. Used instead of the correct names of the male / female reproductive parts
1 ~ Im guna punch you right in the crumpet
2 ~ Im guna kick the crap out of your crumpet
3 ~ I want to munch on your crumpet
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A Small sea creature resembling a shrimp, but covered in fur. They are extremely posh and trendy as house hold pets on the island of Fiji, and as a result are near extinction.
Girl1: Did you dontate to the save the Crumpet campaign?Girl2: Shut up Bitch! I eat crumpets for breakfast. Delish!
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A code word used for weed to keep suspicious parents in the dark.
Hey dude, me and you gona go eat some crumpets later?
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The meaning of this word is often mis-understood in the British Isles. Instead of meaning an attractive woman, it in fact means the polar opposite.
A Crumpet is in fact a horrifically ugly mess of a woman, who bares some similarities to a Crumpet. E.G: A cratered face, A greasy face, A short rounded physique. A Crumpet is in fact a woman, who a man should never touch with a bargepole. If a man does 'Eat a Crumpet,' he should lose all respect and all social status.
Example 1.
Male #1: *Wretches* Look at that mess on the other side of the road!
Male #2: What a crumpet. I'd never spread my butter on that.
Example 2.
Male #1: *Wakes up in unfamiliar bedroom. Looks at the woman lay in bed next to him. Instantly thinks 'What a filthy crumpet!' He then legs it to the nearest exit.*
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The act of a man stuffing his junk into the mouth of another person and then proceeding to poop on that persons face.
Man, that chick last night was crazy! She wanted to get a crumpet!" "Man thats sick.
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