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absolute distress

Stomach issues. Usually diarrhea and/or vomiting

Person 1: hey you coming out tonight?
Person 2: no, I'm in absolute distress
Person 1: ah, that sucks. Feel better fam.

by YoyoMaFam July 27, 2022


coronary distress

Refers to either of two similarly-unhealthful "wound up" conditions:
(1) The fiercely-strong "internal burning" and obsessive determination that Indiana Jones had felt ever since he was a boy to recover the Cross of Coronado and donate it to Marcus Brody's museum for display in their collection of Spanish antiquities.
(2) Frustration/tedium-provoked high blood pressure, heart-palpitations, etc. suffered by a feverishly-aggravated returnable-containers collector who is repeatedly compelled to laboriously shake/rinse out slimy globs of rotted lime from each and every discarded Corona Light bottle that he comes across.

Why can't beer-imbibers just add lemon juice to their bottled drinks 'stedda stuffin' in huge chunks of whole limes?! I mean, don't get me wrong, now --- I **do indeed** deeply appreciate it when generous folks around town give me their huge "after da party" piles of empties to cash in, but still... I am soooooo totally gonna get a major case of coronary distress (not to mention carpel tunnel syndrome if I hafta keep abusin' my poor weak wrists) from my agonized shakin' out of all da 0%!$&#!@ fruit-blobs from every single bleepin' one of all these narrow-necked bottles here, not to mention havin' to also slosh-rinse each bottle afterwards in my water-filled 5-gallon plastic bucket here, to remove da stinky-moldy pulp-residues! (Sorry, but I respect the hard-workin’ redemption-center staff far too much to give them filthy-messy bottles, thank you very much!) And THEN of course, I’m also gonna hafta CLEAN UP ALL DA SLOPPY ROTTEN CITRUS-CLUMPS outta my door-yard after I get done processing my returnables, so that visitors don't slip on them or track in yuckies onto my nice clean carpet!

by QuacksO November 17, 2018


distress ass joe

when somebody is heartbroken about somebody but they so friendly

boy you a distress ass joe with ur friendly ass

by kroybetter July 4, 2023


intesticle distress

A generalized pain "down there" that a horny guy feels when in the company of one or more attractive females whom he'd like to be intimate with.

There is no known treatment/cure for intesticle distress, although the sharp aching and other more severe symptoms can often be dulled somewhat by totally "relieving the pressure" --- either by having a long period of hot 'n' heavy intercourse with someone or by simply "spanking the monkey" till you're completely "drained" --- right beforehand, so that your guy-junk will be totally weak and exhausted for a while, and so even a strong emotional desire for female flesh will not spur much if any embarrassing/awkward physical reaction between your legs while any of the desirable gals in question are in close proximity with you.

by QuacksO December 30, 2017


daniel in distress

When a man is in danger and needs saving by a woman rather than the opposite.

Person 1: Hey did you see that new James Cameron film where the guy needed to be saved by that badass chick
Person 2:Yeah I did, He's a daniel in distress rather than being the hero of the story

by daniel needs saving February 20, 2019


Distressful Dm

Wanting to contact someone you really want to link with but already messaged.. you feel. Like pestering them will piss them off so you don’t and it drives you mad.

Man I open and close my inbox all day waiting on Marshall, but he just leaves me hanging. It’s making communication distressful dm.

by Titus dyfilid February 18, 2019


Distress Call No 2

WHY IS ALL OF KANYE'S DISCOGRAPHY 3 SECONDS LONG?!?!?!?!?!! WHY IS INTRO 4 HOURS LONG??!?!!! HUH!!???

"Man i hate Gorillaz now"
distress call no 2

by psychoBBY August 16, 2023