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Adjective describing a person(s) who has just enough brain cells to survive; devoid of common sense and mental aptitude.
Dave is such a tool. I bet he can't even wipe his own ass. He's functionally-retarded.
People suck. Most of the general public is functionally-retarded.
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Someone who can maintain an orderly, outward social appearance while their personal life has devolved into complete chaos due to over-drinking. Their friends and family are often impressed with their achievements, while the alcoholic knows that their drinking has lead to a full-blown loss of control and that it is just a matter of time until their behavior blows up in their face. In a bad way.
Emelio's friends/family: " Emelio is about to graduate med school. We are so proud. We only wish we could accomplish as much".
Emelio: "I am a functional alcoholic. Everyone I know thinks I'm doing great but in reality my brain has turned to slush. I can't believe I BS'd my way through med school and got a 3.8 GP because I don't remember any of it. I can't believe I'm almost 30 and have somehow avoided getting a DUI thus far. Everyone thinks I'm so great, but in reality, I'm totally fucking dangerous but I just haven't been caught yet. It's all catching up with me though. It's only a matter of time until I do something really stupid and everyone will realize what a fuck-up I truly am.
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When a person smokes enough marijuana to feel its effects, but not enough to alter competence at regular daily tasks or create a lasting low after the effects have worn off.
Becoming functionally high is a skill that comes naturally for some, and for others takes a long time to develop and master.
Person 1: I just got some killer bud from a friend of mine. Wanna smoke?
Person 2: Ok, but I have work in an hour. I guess I'll go in functionally high.
Usually a fat lightskinned black kid that goes to the functions and sits there like a muffin
Look at Jayden over there being a such a function muffin!
A term used to describe a pre-op transexual who can still ejaculate semen out of their penis.
TS Girl: "I've got a 7 inch lollypop and I'm fully functional."
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When you use a vape (mflb) to smoke bud and it hit's just right and you are able to go out and be high with people around, but no one notices.
Person: Dude how are you able to go out a be yourself and still be high?
Me: I use a (mflb) and it hit's just right, so it gives me a functional high.
When you're so damn over it, so any task that requires you to put on shoes is beyond your scope of capabilities
No, Laura. I don't care if Alan is coming to the party, I'm not going. I'm barefoot functional right now