Rural Dictionary

australia

North of the Southern Ocean, and situated between the Indian and Pacific Oceans, Australia is the world's smallest continent and largest island.

Isolated from other countries, we have a diverse variety of fauna and wildlife that can be found nowhere else in the world. Our unique array of animals (koalas, penguins and kangaroos in particular) attract hundreds of thousands of tourists every year, as do our brilliant beaches, our stunning mountain ranges, crystalline blue waters and harsh beauty of the Australian outback. (Outback = desert for all you uneducated cretins).

We have the world's largest coral reef (the Great Barrier Reef), the world's largest monolith (Uluru, formerly known as Ayre's Rock), and we have the world's largest Uranium depostis, as well as major deposits of copper, iron, coal, oil and natural gas.

Yes, we have an accent, though compared to what you hear on movies such as Crocodile Dundee, our accents are definitely not that strong. The Eastern accent is stronger than the accent of Aussies that live on the West Coast.

Our weather is awesome. Winter isn't too cold (unless you're one of the unfortunate people to be living in Tasmania) in winter, and summer always promises hot sun. Sometimes too hot, regularly reaching temperatures of 40 Celcius and above.

Our athletes are among the best in the world. We continuously kick the arses of countries such as America, England, China, Japan in sports such as swimming, cricket football, hockey & netball.

Australia also has some of the world's best medical research facilities. We're in the process of creating a vaccine for several cancers, including prostate, breat, ovarian and cervical cancers.

We have the highest standard of living in the world. With one of the lowest population densities in the world today.

Our government, whilst highly criticized, has managed to keep us safe from terrorism, warfare and other modern problems. Our government invests money in health care, education, infrastructure and the general comfort and weelbeing of our people rather than blowing the budget on an over-sized military.

Speaking of military, we have the world's best trained troops. Our soldiers of the SAS undergo the most rigorous training of any troops in any country, and regardless of what the yanks may say, we do put in an amazing effort in wars in the Middle East and around the world.

We're generally not arrogant, cocky or invasive, though we tend to be loud, boisterous and easy to get along with. Most Aussies love a good party, and sure know how to chug down the booze.

We have the most venomous animals in the world, both on land, and in water. And unless we live in the rural areas, no, we do NOT have kangaroos bouncing around our streets. We don't keep kangaroos as pets, and we don't ride around in their pouches. They do however, taste quite good on the BBQ.
We are equally, if not more civilized than the US, being more laid back in our approaches to almost every situation.

Australia is also one of the world's most multi-cultural countries in the world. The suburb of Dandenong in Victoria is the only suburb in the world to contain a person from every nationality residing within its boundaries. We're a tolerant people, and while we've been labelled as racist, well, we can't be that bad considering as how we've got all the races living here. Besides, racism is a central part of our cultural humour. We definitely don't go down the street calling people 'nigger', 'towel-head' or 'curry-muncher', but racism is used as a form of affection in friendship groups.

We call our asian friends "Asian", "nip", "wingnut", our Indian pals "curry-puff" or just "curry", or our white mates "skips". In Australia, we're not overly offended at jokes about our race, and as long as you mean the joke as a joke, and not as some hidden slur against us, then we won't take a 2-by-4 and apply it to the back of your skull.

Yeah, we also have our share of negatives in Australia, but our positives outweigh the negatives by a long shot.

It pisses me off when other countries bag Australia. What the fuck would they know? Yeah, American might be the most powerful country in the world, but at least in the land down under we're safe from terrorist attacks. Our government isn't a supremicist entity that aims to control every other damn country (or at least the ones with valuable oil supplies). Some would label Australia as being lazy, but we just keep our noses out of other countries business.

Don't bag us before you come and see what an amazing country we are. I over-used the word 'amazing', didn't I...

In conclusion-- Australia rocks.
The End.

I think I used enough examples in my definition of Australia =\

by coryinc September 14, 2006

177👍 102👎

australia

cool country, very hot, doesnt get snow in most places. was colonised by the english who decided their crappy jails were too small.
the only state that this does not apply to is south australia, which was completely colonised by the middle class, and unlike all other cities, adelaide was actually planned.
we are pretty much very good at sport, our football beat american football... we dont cover ourselves in layer upon layer of protection because we are not fags....
we have the best swimmers and cricketers. and we can even win speed skating by going slow enough to miss out on a major crash....
we get crappy american tv shows, like two years late, and we drive on the other side of the road...
and no, we are not all like steve irwin, we do not say "G'Day" or "Crikey" we do not wear karkies and we really arent that stupid
and we do not eat "shrimp on the barbie"
for one, its PRAWNS not shrimp. for two, we normally dont eat them on the bbq, and for three we call it a barbeque not a "barbie"
a barbie is a doll, nothing more
we do not live in big paddocks in the middle of no where... not most of us, a few do, but most live in the cities on the coast... and we do not have stupid "Aussie" accents, well at least not in SA

over all, australia is awesome

by hippooo April 11, 2008

58👍 34👎

australia

Fast facts on Australia:
-- Our population is 20,595,860 appox; and increases by one person every 2 minutes and 12 seconds. (Unlike the US which breeds like rabbits: one person every 10 seconds...)
-- 95% of those people live in cities similar to those in the US and UK, albeit a little smaller. But our infrastructure is comparable.
-- Over 75% of our adult population disagree with the Government's Foreign Policies (well... actually, almost all of its policies, but we can't be stuffed starting a civil war to make things change...).
-- Our military IS the most highly trained combat force in the world.
-- Our medical research is the best in the world. Most of the major breakthroughs in the last few years came from Australia. Especially cancer research. Other nations ask our scientists for help...
-- Our public healthcare system doesn't just rival that of the US, it KICKS ITS ARSE! Every citizen of Australia is entitled to FREE basic public healthcare and emergency hospital treatment (if necessary).
-- Our education system also rivals those of other 1st world nations.
-- Steve Irwin is a rare specimen of low-brow individuals without formal education and does not represent the vast majority of us. (In simpler terms for Americans and Kiwis: Irwin is an idiot that most of us want to beat to death).
-- Koalas are not BEARS!!
-- Humvees are sold in Australia.
-- In country towns, kangaroos RARELY hop down main streets.
-- Gun related deaths in the US each year: over 10,000. Gun related deaths in Australia each year: less than 70. (33 deaths per 1 million people in the US; 3.5 deaths per 1 million people in Australia. Why? In Australia we have car and motorcycle enthusiasts, in the US they have firearm enthusiasts and no gun control... go figure...).

Australia is the best country in the world. Period. We drink a lot of beer. We play a lot of sports (and usually win). We are world leaders in cancer research (so if one day you get cancer and are given a cure, it came from here). We are patriotic. We all hate our Prime Minister.

by DanManOZ August 7, 2006

240👍 165👎