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A Long Distance Lover is a person who is hot from far away, but repulses you when you get too close.
Hillary: Ooh, look at jake, he's cute!
Crizle: Nope, he's just a Long Distance Lover. Don't go near him, his braces catch on things.
Hillary: aww...
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As my friend who was in one said:
"The biggest mistake anyone could make."
~ Caden
"Get out of Long Distance Relationships!"
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Corrallary to a conventional long distance relationship a super long distance relationship is a relationship with someone who is at an even greater distance like someone from another planet, dimension, or time period.
Melodica: Would you like to come to the jelly-tot cabaret with me tonight?
Harmonica: Sorry I can't I'm going to be spending time with my boyfriend.
Melodica: I didn't know you were in a relationship.
Harmonica: We're involved in a super long-distance relationship. It's a bit complicated. He's from another time period and may or may not be fictional.
Being cock blocked because a girl calls you while your at another girls house, therefore you will not be receiving any pussy from the girl who called you or the girl you were planning on getting with that night.
John went to Sally's house with high hopes of getting some pussy. while he was there his phone rang and it was another girl, Christina, who was mad because John was at Sally's. Sally hears what happened and now believes that John has a relationship with Christina so now both girls refuse to do anything with John tonight as a result of a Long Distance Cock Block
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The LDM (Long Distance Mistake) occurs when you see a pretty woman approaching and coming closer to you. The nearer/closer she gets, the more you see her and all the details of her body, face etc.
When you realize then that she is not that pretty as you thought before, you have been mistaken about her beauty seen from far away (long distance).
"Bro, look at that nice girl over there, such a beautiful woman!"
"True, let's getting her closer to us, to see more of her..."
"Nah man, she's not that hot, that was a LDM (Long Distance Mistake)!"
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A long distance bandwagon fan is a specific variety of bandwagon fan. Typical bandwagon fans are local, they ignore the particular sport altogether when their local team is doing poorly, and suddenly become superfans when they're doing well. Meanwhile, long distance bandwagon fans will become superfans of any team in the country when they're doing well, and then just as quickly pick a different team when the tables are turned.
They are often spotted wearing team merchandise which is later donated to a thrift store. Just like the regular bandwagon fans, they will swear that they've always liked their current team du jure, and vehemently deny ever being a fan of any other team.
Some prime examples of teams with great numbers of long distance bandwagon fans are: San Francisco 49ers in the 80s, Edmonton Oilers in the 80s, Dallas Cowboys in the 90s, Chicago Bulls in the 90s, Atlanta Braves in the 90s and early 2000s, New York Yankees in the late 90s and 2000s, and Indianapolis Colts in the 2000s.
LDBF: I love the Yankees! Those are my boys and always have been! I'm soooooo lucky that my favorite team is so good!!!
REALIST: Yeah, ok. Luck has nothing to do with it. You live in Kansas, you've never travelled anywhere near New York, and somehow I doubt you can name the starting lineup. You're the epitome of a long distance bandwagon fan.
LDBF: Whatever, you're just jealous because my team rulez!!!
REALIST: Right, because it would be so difficult for me to buy a Yankees hat and start calling myself a fan. <rolls eyes>
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A day in a long distance relationships celebrate their...uhh..distance? And the day falls on March 21st
“Hey bob! Do you know what day it is?!”
“It’s national long distance relationship day!”
“Ohh you know what that means!”
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