Tuesday

The day that you eat orphans and beat your wife.

Horacio: Excuse me sir, but you came in earlier today and now an orphan is missing, do you know anything about this?
Francis: Well you can’t blame me, it’s Tuesday I was hungee.
Horacio: What the fuck does that imply?
Francis: I Monched orphan.

6👍 7👎

Tuesday

Arguably the best day of the entire week!

Sundays: Suck, the most boring day of the week, there is nothing EVER on T.V. and you are always stressing out for monday and the rest of the week.

Mondays: Are horribly boring. Your all drined out from the weekend and lazy Sunday. The worst day of the week.

Wednesdays: The middle day. Eh.

Thursdays: The friday before friday except without all the fun.

Friday: Planning your weekend, getting friends together, calling bitches, all a huge hassle.

Saturday: When the best parties are held

TUESDAY: The greatest day of the week. Were the most random and fun bullshit happens. It could be the same ting you do on saturdays but during the week everything seem so much funner.

Also a reference of total randomness.

Guy 1: Dude I just had a threesom yesterday.

Guy 2: On a Tuesday?

Guy 1: Fuck yeah bro! High five!


Ex 2:

Guy 1: Would you ever drive a zamboni naked down the highway at 32 degrees singing the waffle song?

Guy 2: Hmmm only on a Tuesday.

15👍 25👎

Tuesday

A day which just happens to be coming; the prescence of your coat is advised for this event. Information regarding the current status of your living in a biant bucket is also highly appreciated.

From the cartoon "Rejected" - perhaps the most genius line ever.

18👍 33👎

Tuesday

When you’re doing a long slow shit on the toilet and decide you also want to have a wank. So you reach between your legs and accidentally grab the long shit instead of your cock and start wanking.

Hey Cam. I had a big steak meal last night so, of course, had a massive Tuesday to get over it.

2👍 2👎

It's Tuesday

A term used in crappy commercials to denote that someone has never eaten good food in their entire life. This usually applies to WalMart.

Husband: OH MY GOD IS THAT STEAK!!!!!????? I've never eaten steak before! Is it our anniversary or something??? Oh God what did I forget???? WHAT DAY IS IT??!!!!

Wife, smirking idiotically: It's Tuesday

6👍 9👎

tuesday

a sarky way of saying you're not going to do something is to say you'll do it on a tuesday, or if something is stupid or unbelievable is happening it's tuesday.

"Are you going to go to church?" "Aye, I'll go there on a tuesday"

or

Hollyoaks is a pure tuesday

7👍 15👎

Tuesday

Greeting such as aloha or goodbye. Kind of like saying "how you doin"

John: tuesday Bill
Bill" tuesday

9👍 21👎