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the only perfect man to ever walk the face of this earth and give hope a definition
Luke 8:28
When he saw Jesus, he cried out and fell at his feet, shouting at the top of his voice, "what do you want with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I beg you don't torture me!"
Jesus, Son of God
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A word impossible to define, Greater than any possible definition.
Jesus you know what's in my heart without me saying it.
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The protagonist in the second half of best selling fiction novel The Bible written by the award winning author God (a.k.a Boss Mann). During Jesus' journeys, he encountered many challenging tasks, such as turning water into wine, and walking on water. Jesus had to use his cunning and wit to overcome these seemingly impossible tasks. Jesus' life came to a sudden stop when his own people nailed him to a cross. The ending took many God's fans by surprise, as it was unlike him to kill off the main character. God argued that it added emotion to the story. However, the fans were not pleased, so God re-wrote the ending, with Jesus coming back to life to tell everyone it was all gonna be OK. The fans seemed contented. Jesus did not appear in any more of God's hit novels, though in an interview for Time Magazine, God revealed:
"Oh that wasn't the last we'll be seeing of the rebellious rapscallion" *chuckles*
Due to some name and copyright claims, the writing credit was taken from God and given to a group of Jews who claimed they knew a guy called Jesus. This was later found out to be a scam, and the four friends heavily altered the chapters. But God merely laughed and said
"Why not? It's not like people are going to take the book seriously anyway"
Chapter 17: The Reawakening
"Jesus sat up on the rock, feeling a bad bump on his head, and a sharp pain in his wrists and torso. It was dark, and he could feel the damp, heavy air around him. He suddenly remembered everything. He swore loudly, before taking a swig from his hip flask. He considered revenge, but reconsidered. He looked at his Rolex. It was only Saturday. He decided to go back to sleep for a while..."
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Died on the cross for my sins so that I may be forgiven and gain the free gift of eternal life.
Billy: Mike, you *bleepin'* *bleep*, haven't seen you in 10 *bleepin'* years! How you been?
Mike: Well Billy, I'm actually a Christian now... and a pastor at that!
Billy: Well I'll be damned!
Mike: You don't have to Billy, Jesus can save you!
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A good answer for pretty much anything.
Billy: Hey Tom, what's the answer to #2?
Tom: Jesus.
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A generally cool guy who can make a mean apple crumble.
Me: Damn Jesus, this is some tasty shit. You've got to give me yo' recipe!
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