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The best and cutest boy alive. He is a lovable horny and the best husband
Bradley David Christopher Smith is such a cutie
Contrary to what the shoddy school curriculum tells you, Christopher Columbus was actually a genocidal piece of shit. Yes it's true that he discovered America, but he brutally attacked native inhabitants of the west indies if they went against his wishes during the slavery era. Some examples of the bad things he did is cannibalising, feed babies to dogs and alligators and of course cheating Native Americans and Africans out of their own land (Colonialism). In short, he was another barbarous and pernicious murderer complicit in a great amount of sanguinary who got his colonists to buy slaves to do basically everything for him and his own territory. Basically in the same way Hitler manipulated the Nazis into murder 6 million Jews.
School: Christopher Columbus was a patriotic explorer who discovered America.
5th Graders: WOW! WHAT AN AMAZING GUY!
Reality: A bloodthirsty cold-hearted killer. Little do the Native American and African children in elementary school know that Christopher Columbus colonised lands and enslaved people of their ethnicity.
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A strong urge have sex with a lot of different people and sail the ocean blue while you are in a long term relationship with somebody.
Dad: What happened to Jack and Jill? They have been together for 10 years!
Mom: Well, after Jack came down the hill with a pail of water, he decided to leave Jill to sail the ocean blue. When Jack came back, he came back with the clap and a boatload of crabs.
Dad: Yea, I remember when I came back from having the Christopher Columbus Syndrome. I gave you syphilis. I think I still got it now that I mention it. Don't tell the kids.
Mom: Those were the days, good times.
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People still celebrate him for some reason. He is some old white dude who took advantage of the Native Americans and did very concerning things to them. He doesn't deserve a holiday and he is all around a dick.
You: Did you here its Christopher Columbus day?
Me: Oh that asshole? Who "discovered America" even though he didn't?
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a BITCH. didn't "discover" shit. there's a fucking HOLIDAY for this colonizing mf. he stole land from a minority group and spread diseases, some of which came from animals... think that one through for a second. schools will teach you about this mf and praise his crackerjack ass when in reality he did nothing great.
Jae: Who the hell is Christopher Columbus?
Brian: A crackerjack, colonizing, mayo monkey p.o.s who enslaved natives and sold their kids into a sex ring.
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Most definitely has super sexy abs. He also gets mad hoes unlike Robbie Brennan
I wish I was as sexy as Martin Christopher Wichita from Nebraska
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Does like to sing in the shower
Doesnt like when people poor chemicals into the earth
Does like to dance like a sexy race horse
Doesnt like to clean cat poo out of the garden
Does like freedom and confidence
Doesnt like narrow minded superficial jargon
Does like to laugh and cook organic yummies
Doesnt like when kids dont wear helmets while riding bikes
#1 Kitten in back alley: "Meow" .......
Christopher Proctor: "Get out...Ahhhh!"
#2 Cute NYC Boy "OMG, My mom bought me this Prada purse, true motherly love"
Christopher Proctor: "I just threw up in my mouth"
#3 Oil company: "Lets dig for oil, and stink up the earth"
Christopher Proctor "No."