Hag Patch

The patch what lies central of the female groinage area.
Also known as the Axe wound, gash, flange, spam purse.

"Holy shit Jeremy, she's got her hag patch out!"

"Get your hag patch out you slappa"

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whopper patch

A transdermal patch in a Burger King commercial that enables the wearer to resist the craving for a Whopper.

Narrator:It's been many hours of staring for these people in the staring contest. Now we bring in the Whopper to see who wins.
::places Whopper in between the two people staring at each other::
::Person 1 looks away and eats the whopper::
::Person 2 rolls up his sleeve to show the Whopper Patch::
Person 1:"Whopper patch!!?? That's not fair!!"

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Dracula's Soul Patch

Definition: 17th century sexual tactic that local Transylvanian women would practice when they wanted Dracula to swoop in unbeknownst and deliver a thick midnight piping. See: moon poon. Women would shave their nether-regions to the match the shape and size of Dracula's soul patch. So that when the soul patches unite, they mend together like Velcro, and Dracula sucks her living soul out of the vagina.

Definition 2: A sponge of juice. Containing DNA samples. Especially Winona Ryder's. Everyone's had a ride.

example: "Johnny Jr, what do you think has seen more pussy, Dracula's Soul Patch or Dr. Robotnik's crusty creepy old mustache?"

california hot patch

When sealing a larger hole in sheet rock, one cuts the desired shape to fill the hole and applies a liberal amount of fast drying "hot" mud or plaster to make it stick in the hole.

Hey Dave, that hole is too large for just a little plaster, so fix it faster and stronger with a California Hot Patch.

Sour Patch Kids

Kick ass candy from Canada. Starts out sour, then turns sweet. It may or may not give you the worse smelling gas ever.

Ingredients:

Sugar, Invert Sugar, Corn Syrup, Modified Corn Starch, Tartaric Acid, Citric Acid, Natural Artificial Flavoring, Yellow 6, Red 40, Yellow 5 and Blue 1.

Sour Patch Kids are awesome man.

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melon patch kids

An ethnic version of Cabbage Patch Kids. Little black ragdolls.

I guess we could buy little Myshequa one of those Melon Patch Kids for her birthday.

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Pumpkin Patch People

/ˈpəm(p)kən/paCH/ˈpēpəl/

1. Followers of a large rounded orange fruit headed leader with a thick skull, tiny brain, a believer in conspiracy theories, a follower of brietbart, faux and infowars.

2. The plant of the Russian Oligarchs totalitarian authoritarian regime that produces unending lies and treason, having red hats and large confederate flags and native to warm inbreed regions of America.

Used as an affectionate term of address, especially to a trumpet:
"listen, pumpkin patch people, I thought you ought to know he's the worst liar in chief ever."

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