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Auto fellatio. Sucking your own penis.
John's in his bedroom blowing his own trumpet.
Are you big enough to be capable of blowing your own trumpet?
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A saying which implies that there was no intent to offend someone. Made popular by psychedelic pop group Danielson on the album Ships. Can also be used when one is unsure of whether or not harm was done by an offhanded comment.
Jerry: Oh I know I hated those kids, in fact I hated anyone who had a pony growing up
Manya: I Had a pony
Jerry: Sorry, did I step on your trumpet?
that would've saved Manya.
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The act of accidentally touching the moist freezing rim of the toilet with the end of your cock whilst you sit on the shitter contemplating life and snapchatting your nearest and dearest.
It is by the most uncomfortable experience a man can endure.
"Man, I just experienced a chilly trumpet whilst snapping Jessica about what happened in Oceana last night"
"Oh dear how unpleasant!"
What you would call someone or, more specifically, someone's bum when they have a loud, rumbling passing of gas.
Oh my god, did you just fart? I felt that hiney trumpet over here!
Dude, seriously? You're a damn hiney trumpet!
After a night of spicy indian food with your female date, while getting head while she is on all fours you wrap your arms around her stomach performing somewhat of a heimlich maneuver spraying spicy fecal matter about the room.
"Had a fun date bro gave Samanta the old fiery trumpet"
When you sense you lady friend is about to flatulate in the act of cunnilingus, reach your hand between her loins open palmed and gently press against her bum hole, and control the release of wind at your discretion.
Jake: "I can't go down on my wife after Taco Tuesday, if you know what I mean."
Matt: "Yo, you gotta play the muffled trumpet. Works wonders with Lexi. She loves it."
Jake: "Just get up in there?"
Matt: "I straight Miles Davised Lexi last Tuesday. Just take it into your own hands. Pun intended."
3. Short for Trump Puppet. Those echoing or espousing the political views of Donald Trump
The MAGA trumpets were in full form at the insurrection.