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Celery of Humanity

A person who takes more energy to stomache than he or she gives back, just as celery requires more calories to digest than it provides.

Can you tell me why Paris Hilton gets so much press? She hasn't done anything. She's the Celery of Humanity

by balloon pirate February 16, 2007

33πŸ‘ 10πŸ‘Ž


human shield

Some goon used by an evil guy to protect himself from enemy fire. Usually gets killed as soon as he is taken as a shield by multiple rounds of fire.

The villain is suddenly caught by an undercover agent who starts firing everywhere to kill his henchmen. The villain then uses the closest surviving henchman as a human shield in order to make his escape, just as the hero suddenly decides to fire at the villain.

by Exor January 19, 2004

33πŸ‘ 10πŸ‘Ž


human nature

1. The one reason there will never be world peace. See politician.

Human nature accounts for the flaws in this and every other society that has ever existed before us and will ever exist long after we have departed this world.

by OmniScourge February 1, 2005

96πŸ‘ 36πŸ‘Ž


Human condition

- The upset (divisive) state of humanity; the competitive, aggressive and selfish behavior of human beings, that is juxtaposed to humanities integrative moral instincts which are to be loving, selfless and cooperative.

A book named β€œfreedom”, written by Jeremy Griffith, introduces the compassionate understanding of our species β€˜human condition’. In defense of humanities divisive behavior, Jeremy dissects the underlying truths of the human race and our search for understanding, presenting an empathetic and honest look at the human races β€˜condition’.

β€œThat murder demonstrated the extreme extent of the human condition’s potential to cause destruction”

by Quake2000 May 19, 2018

10πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


Human Situation

A course that all Honors students at the University of Houston’s Main Campus must take. Human Situation students are required to read several books and write interpretive essays on them. Can be abbreviated as Human Sit. Human Situation is a major source of stress for students and is responsible for one in every three visits to CAPS.

β€œZeus bless those poor, unfortunate souls in Human Situation.”

β€œDr. J. Rainbow is the best professor in the Human Situation.”

β€œWhat do I do in Human Sit Lecture? I’m a human. I sit.”

by Omegan2021 October 20, 2017

8πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


Human Resources

Used to be called Personnel or the Personnel Department. When they renamed to Human Resources (a pompous new name for PERSONNEL!) everyone else called them Human Remains!

Person A: Why is the company in so much trouble?

Person B: Too many bums in Human Resources.

Person A: Don't you mean Human Remains? (snigger)

by Awbster November 3, 2006

101πŸ‘ 39πŸ‘Ž


Human Tabloid

A person who primarily derives pleasure from acquiring and then spreading private, sensitive, and potentially harmful information about other people. Such activities are typically their primary form of entertainment, and they usually justify their behavior by pointing out how common and "normal" it is.

My neighbor is basically a human tabloid. Every time I speak to her, she is always so damn eager to share sensitive personal information (juicy gossip) about other people, while simultaneously trying to nose her way into my own affairs, no doubt intending to spread my own dirt far and wide as well. Usually, she feigns genuine concern, but she is obviously solely motivated by the prospect of entertaining herself, because at no point does she use the information she gains to actually help anybody. What a bitch. Human tabloids like her are everywhere, so you gotta stay on your toes.

by Jimbob Cleetus III September 1, 2020