you look like a cow looking at a new gate

a look of lost bewilderment.

Jack: What are you looking at over there Jill? You just keep popping your head up over your cubicle staring into space..

Jill: huh?

Jack: You look like a cow looking at a new gate.

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Back when I lived in upstate new york

A meaningless, unimpressive, self-serving introduction. An indicator that the story about to be shared will be pointless and dumb.

Back when I lived in upstate new york, I also had to park on the street - on two occasions, we got enough snow, mixed with just the right plowing, that my car was lifted off the ground from so much snow being jammed underneath it.

news about the british authorities murdering homeless people

There isn't any because the british authorities cover-up the crimes

There isn't any news about the british authorities murdering homeless people

The Waffle house has found its new host

some stupid shit that some guy named johnny made on youtube telling little children to spam it on youtube comments

stupid child: The Waffle house has found its new host
everyone: SHUT THE FUCK UP

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land mass between new orleans and mobile alabama

made known to the world by The Weather Channel's own Jim Cantore during hurricane Isaac. Known to the rest of the world as "Mississippi".

Hurricane Isaac is projected to make landfall in the land mass between new orleans and mobile alabama.

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The waffle house has found its new host

What YouTube Shorts kids comment on every video

Timmy: The waffle house has found its new host
Me: Shut up Timmy

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my palm tree be throwing up new leaves!

an expression indicating optimism regarding ones current situation

You: So what's the word with that rash of yours?
Me: Dude, my palm tree be throwing up new leaves! Doc, says it'll clear up just fine.

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