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Chris johns

Biggest pussy every, likes to fuck sheep and any other barn yard animals. Offer can be found in a gay bar or ur local barn and is also a necrophiliac.

You chris johns

by Badass6995 May 17, 2018


John Rumble

The inventor of the Midwest Rumble Strip, known for its intense damage to the taint while riding on a bicycle. John Rumble has built up a very negative public view after his death due to the use of the despised Rumble Strip. Although congressional attempts to remove to Rumble strip, it’s use gave the Rumble family generational wealth, which has been used to relocate John Rumble’s grave to safety after multiple displays of public indecency directed at his grave had been reported. Most use “John Rumble” and “the Devil” synonymously.

John Rumble’s Rumble Strip blew out my taint.
I haven’t been in worse pain then when John Rumble stole my taint in Iowa

by ILeftMyTaintInIowa July 29, 2024


John Achi

- Toilet Seat
- He's the Fatest person you'll ever meet

- Thinks he is boss

- has a crush on a guy named Dhann Benny

John Achi Like Dhann Benny

by Unknown Beast 15 September 9, 2022


casual john

A smooth talking, slow walking, sex pest.

Ay up, look at that fella over there - sneaking by those nice bitches like a right Casual John.

by Captain Mastafuck March 10, 2021


John Bushong

Biologically a male, but is flamboyantly homosexual in nature. A JB has a reputable disposition of having incredible sexual prowess, and at the same time is hindered by his genitals that have their own ideations and decide his outcomes.

One can definitely sense the presence of a JB even though he may not be visible, as he possesses an aura of indignation and volatility, making him notably unpredictable.

Historians have theorized that JBs' expire physically, yet do not die spiritually. A JB merely reincarnates into the next available host whom is suitable to withstand the immense levels of rizz in which the soul of a JB is saturated.

Never challenge a JB. The odds of survival are parallel with that of enduring a nuclear blast. Learn to make friends with a JB and you won't be disappointed. They have an innate reaction to protect and defend their allies, and will stop at nothing to staunch any threat; even if it entails genocide or ritualistic mass termination.

All JBs' have an Achilles Heel. No pun intended, but they are particularly susceptible to sprained ankles, and as such you will most often notice a JB wearing Military Issue High top boots, a feature that they attribute to attempted trendsetting if you inquire about them. This is to be kept in mind when mitigating JBs' because as aforementioned, they have the tendency to be unpredictable, and if a JB considers you as a traitor, they will proceed to hire an esteemed assassin by the name of Sylvanna to handle you.

1: guy 1 to guy 2: that dude gave my step-sis the business last night. She's 300lbs and now she has a thigh gap

Guy2: damn must've been a Jb

2: cougar librarian: I can't blame him for using the kids section as a Kleenex... after all he said he was a JB

3: Jehovah witness: I left my brochure at home do you mind if I borrow your car?
Margaret Atwood: I would say yes but you need to ask (John Bushong) first

George Orwell: I would forget about it if I were you

by SchmegDoctor June 20, 2023


John Mclon

Something you say to weird people out so they leave you alone.

John Mclon

by John Mclon May 14, 2022


John Calhoun

A man who ruins everything he touches. A racist asshole. Henry Clay’s boyfriend, but he will break off their engagement. However, he has cheekbones so sharp they can slice bread, and young men licked his toes

I can’t believe how many ao3 fanfictions involve John Calhoun, who sucked!

by Dan’l Not Daniel March 18, 2023