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A petri douche is that friend you are sexually involved with who repeatedly has sexual encounters with others thus exposing you to the many germs and diseases they have come into contact with.
Dude, Joe is such a petri douche! Turns out he's been fucking around again and now I have herpes!
n. Girls that are brought along to a club or social function that are expendable. If a random guy tries to cut in on your group these girls will serve as a perimeter protecting the hotter chicks you're dancing with.
Dylan: "Look out man, the douche crew's moving in."
Trevor: "It's cool man, start unloading the douche ammo."
Dylan: "Quick, to the center with the hotties!"
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The person in your group of friends who considers his/her musical taste superior to everyone else's and will always insist upon playing his/her own iPod even at uncalled for and innappropriate times. There is always at least one iPod douche at every party or gathering, and they will most certainly take out the iPod already playing and replace it with their own without asking anyone, and then continue to monopolize the music station for as long as they can get away with it. They have an intense need for others to recognize their collection of music as the best, most diverse, most underground, and/or most cutting edge of all the music out there. They seem to have no awareness of how annoying and antisocial they're being, or they are too overwhelmed by their desire for recognition to care.
Mark: "yo dude, where are your speakers? I found this great new hip hop band. They're mad underground so you don't know about them but they're really fresh..."
Jake (turns to other friends): "Shit, Mark's about to whip out the iPod douche on us. Prepare to bow to his supreme musical taste for the rest of the evening. We'll put our own shit back on when he finally fuckin leaves."
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The basketball player who:
a) never passes to anyone on his team and always tries to drive it to the hoop, unsuccessfully every time and:
b) the kid who is way overaggressive on the court and shoves/argues every call/gets a tad physical.
Example 1
Referee (after watching him take 5 steps): travel
Ball Douche: What the f*ck is wrong with you the rules say you can take 2 d*mn steps after dribbling! I took two, you call a travel, and your mom is out in the bleachers crying from embarrassment because her adopted he/she whatever you are SUCKS!
Example 2
Player 1: (subtly boxes out Ball Douche)
Ball Douche: (throws right hook, jabs the player in the mouth, tackles him, steps on his nuts, breaks his ribs, stabs him with a homemade mini-spear through the arm, breaks his femur, dislocates players other arm from his shoulder, and puts peanut butter on his toes so they will be eaten by rabid squirrels wielding light sabers)
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Douche Wagon- Commonly used to describe a person who has taken their douchebag triats too far and a more powerful description is needed
Hey dude why is he in a stroller at the party...
He's doing it for attention...he's a total douche wagon.
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Any regular pickup truck with a suspension/body lift that brings it from a suitible ride height, to an over-compensating gargantuan stance. Usually with the lift kits, massive unnecessary mudding tires and bowel shattering exhaust systems follow suit. The people who primarily operate these road dwelling abominations are those with more money than brains, and are primarily on a lower evolutionary intelligence scale then the rest of human kind.
"ohh fawk der bud, just got ma paycheck from the rigs. gon go get one of dem fawkin chevy douche-truck fawk. Jus lift er' up n' giver fawkin buck eh! ohh yawp. fer sher"
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