Random
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Random
The act of pouring a cup of coffee onto a girl's vagina during intercourse.
Man: You ready for the sex coffee?
Woman: What? Aaaaahh! Aaaahhhh!!
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This is a place where people take pictures of people who walk into the store and jerk off. There is a guy there who is gay and does Jerk off to men. They jizz into the cups and whip up the shit so it looks like whipped cream.
One time this chick shoved the coffee up her crotch and is now pregnant with one of them. They're pretty sure it's the gay one.
Man: "Have you tried Wankers Coffee?"
Woman : "Yea I got pregnant from one of them"
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The most addictive and socially acceptable combination of vices the world has ever known.
“The only reason I went to the A.A meetings was for the free coffee and smokes."
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Overall a complete and total baddass. One who knows an extraordinary amount about all aspects of coffee, including: origin of the raw bean, flavor profile of coffee from every country, temperatures at which the coffee roasts, roast levels, and knows a sucky cup of coffee just by smelling it. Basically, they're a drug dealer that instead of dealing weed or cocaine deals coffee.
Did you hear about that badass coffee roaster that orders his own beans overseas, roasts them in a homemade roaster made from a grill and a rotating trashcan, grinds it in a $200 grinder from Italy, and sells it to local coffee bars to put starbucks out of business?
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Coffee that is sexed up with alcohol, usually consumed early in the morning after a night of drinking.
Let's meet at the bar for some Sexy Coffee.
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The female version of "morning wood". When a female wakes up horny as anything and realizes she must let it out.
Friend 1: "My night was so lonely."
Friend 2: "My morning was even worse, I made a coffee creamer."
Friend 1: "No way..."
Friend 2: "Yes, be sure to check the coffee creamer in the fridge before you put it into your coffee... it might be a secret blend of mine."
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decaf coffee misrepresented as the real stuff. Often done in the catering industry, where both both regular and decaf coffee are actually decaf. the waiter will often serve coffee, return the the kitchen and emerge with the same pot of coffee for the guests who requested decaf (because it actually is decaf). Some waiters will say an incantation over the pot in the kitchen (converting it to either reg or decaf)
Waiter 1: Are we doing regular AND decaf coffee this evening
Waiter 2: Nope, just magic coffee today.
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