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Random
When you take a piss and don't wash your hands because you didn't touch tour penis
Friend: Ew did u just take a piss and not wash your hands
Me: No I just did no hands mommy
Friend: What that
Me: When you don't touch your penis when u take a piss
Friend: OOOOOHHHHH okay, let me try
Don't bite it.
Trent told me not to bite the hand that feeds.
Slipping hands into each others underwear
Friend: so what did yous do last night?
Me: we slipped hands.
April 19th is national hold hands with a gay person day.
National hold hands with a gay day:
i held hands with my gay friend, he hated it
Two hand slam is the act of pleasuring ones self with both hands vigorously. Commonly done by males with an average penis size to make them think it's bigger than it actually is. If one is fortunate enough to receive said two hand slam it will be a very memorable experience and cause you to only pleasure yourself with it from here on out
Guy 1: Man, both of my forearms are super sore
Guy 2: Bro, it's gotta be from all the jerking off
Guy 1: No its not that...
Guy 2: Once you get used to the two hand slam your forearms won't hurt anymore. Trust me
When a person furiously masturbates after having their hands in ice water for exactly 22 seconds.
Bro you down to Cool Hand Luke before the party?
I went a little overboard with the Cool Hand Luke and now my dick is numb.