when you are laying in bed with a "significant other" and you fart then hold her head under the blanket
girl: what did you get me for valentines day
guy: hold on...wait a minute...i got something....DUTCH OVEN!!!!
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Noun - Halfway between masturbation and a handjob. i.e. when a man has his own hand on his penis but someone else is controlling the motion.
SpinalTapp gave me the ole' dutch rudder one summer up on brokeback.
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The act of throwing out a vicious, obnoxious fart in bed and then holding the head of a loved one underneath the sheets, either until they pass out or better still vomit.
I knew that I had left a skiddie in my pants as I curved out a stinkfart. I then asked my wife to check under the covers to see whether there was a spider. She was immediately overcome by the repugnant gas that was down there and try as she might, she couldn't fight as my hands held her head in place. When she came up eventually, she remarked that she felt nauseous and that I had indeed shit my pants in the process. Nice!
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When you have someone grab your arm and jack you off with your hand, instead of being gay.
Bill: Oh my god Joe you give the best dutch rudders.
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During Anal sex, when you're about to cum, you pull out to shoot. But a little nugget of impacted poop is blocking your urethra.
So finally you blow and the nugget shoots out like a musket ball followed by warm spray.
Last Night, Grace let me in her back door. When it came time to unholster my dick, I pulled out and fired a Dutch Musket at her head!
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Masturbation in such a manner as the masturbatee holds his own member while someone else (the mastubator) works the arm.
My arm was really tired last night so Jennifer gave me a dutch runner.
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Covering a person with a blanket, and then farting under the blanket, making sure the fart remains trapped in the blanket bio-sphere. The desired effect is that your dutch oven occupant will have no choice but to inhale the noxious fumes.
Scotty was being such a douche, Nick and I had little recourse but to give him a dutch oven.
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