office repulsion

Is the healthy state of disgust towards the bullshit and bureaucracy of the office that will save a henchgoon from spending the rest of his/her life crammed into a veal-fattening pen, repeating the same mindless and never-ending routine ad infinitum. When office repulsion gives way to comfort zone laziness: GAME OVER!

Veteran henchgoon: “Could you do something I ask you just once with a smile on your face??”

Newbie temp-henchgoon: “No can do! I need to keep my office repulsion up or I’ll turn into a sad bastard like you and I’ll still be here in twenty years, grinning stupidly and deluding myself into thinking everything is just terrific!”

2👍 1👎

Oval Office

Where a group of menaces gather during certain occurrences to “hotbox” ones car.

Hey you got a cart? Let’s go Oval Office after school!

2👍 1👎

Office Tan

Pigment color change due to extensive exposure to monitors at the office.

Are you coming to the meeting, or are you going to sit around and work on your office tan?

2👍 1👎

office lurker

a thief (usually well dressed) who enters an office by acting like they belong there with the intent of stealing something

"my laptop was stolen by an office lurker"

6👍 7👎

Facebook Offical

When one posts something on Facebook or another internet blog site it becomes offical. The reasoning is that one posts information on the internet for all to see leaving little doubt that it didn't happen. Mostly used in the context of dating.

Person 1: Are Jordan and Julie going out?

Person 2: Well I saw them making out in the hallway but I am not going to say anything until it is 'Facebook Offical'.

32👍 60👎

Peace-Officer

What some cops call themselves to sound more professional, fancier, different, or somehow more important.
-Or because they're ashamed to be policeman.

Also used by those officers who do not want to thought of or referred to as Policemen or Cops.

"When a cop calls himself a Peace-Officer, it's like a garbage-man calling himself a Sanitation-Worker, or a clerk calling herself a Sales-Associate."

"Being a Policeman is an honorable-profession. Nothing is more vital to Public-Safety than the humble street-cop; Be proud of who you are, and of what you do."

21👍 37👎

Police officer

A person who serves to keep the peace, protect others and combat crime. Recently, due to the death of George Floyd by the hands of Derek Chauvin, many have started spouting the "ACAB" thing which means "All cops are bastards". This is, of course, false - the vast majority of police officers are genuinely good people who work a thankless job, put themselves in danger to fight crime and protect us. Saying every cop is bad for the actions of a rotten, vile and corrupt few is like saying all blacks are bad because a very small percentage of them commit crime and do drugs or all Asians are bad because a very small amount of them eat dogs and are shit at driving. It's important to remember that, while there are a vile, terrible few for sure, almost every police officer is a genuinely good person doing their best to keep me, you, and everyone else safe from crime. The actions of the few do not define the many, and for the sake of genuine, productive discussion and argument it's vital to not succumb to the delusional groupthink of "all cops are bad, abolish the police" that seems to be common nowadays.

Many police officers are good people who do more for this country in a month than most of us have done for it in our lives.

9👍 11👎