This is so sad, Alexa read The Communist Manifesto

A statement to express sorrow

James: I just got ligma
Robert: This is so sad, Alexa read The Communist Manifesto

I Wish I Could Read

1. An exasperation; An expression of one's deeply seated desire to be bequeathed the knowledge necessary to read and comprehend advanced literature, such as road signs and Eric Carl's "The Hungry Hungry Caterpillar", the latter of which is often considered to be the epitome of postmodernist literature.

2. In a metaphorical sense, a display of one's dismay after having conducted what is often known as a "slip of the tongue" while performing the act of reading literature. In this case, it should not be seen as one literally being incapable of reading, rather as a cry for forgiveness after one has botched the reading of a passage.

3. A deeply rooted metaphysical desire often believed to be the root of all suffering. A desire to read is very often perceived by scholars to be the cause of some of the most tragic events in human kind. A notable example of such a tragedy include Thirty Years' War, in which Austrian Catholics were unable to read the Protestant North German and Scandinavian bibles, leading to armed conflict between both parties as neither could perceive that they were, in fact, reading the same book.

1. "I tried to find the Inn but sadly my illiteracy prevented me from reading roadside signs and I was regulated to sleeping under a bridge. Damn I wish I could read."

2. Susanne: "Look Hon, it says here that you can bake a cookie for free."

Susanne's Hon, Richard: "Are you sure that is what is truly written down? Perhaps you might wish to take a further look at the statement you have just provided me, for it seems as though you had a slip of the tongue."

Susanne: "Damn I wish I could read."

3. Ferdinand II, Holy Roman Emperor: "Gustavus, what are these books you have handed me? They are completely illegible, any true bible should be written in Latin! Not some strange viking tongue!"

Gustavus Adolphus, King of Sweden: "Why, they are the bible my fine fellow. They are merely written in the language of my people, Swedish, as many Swedes cannot comprehend Latin."

Ferdinand II, Holy Roman Emperor: "Heresy I say! this means war!"

Gustavus Adolphus, King of Sweden: "Damn I wish I could read."

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this sentence is grammatically correct but it's wordy and hard to read

I SWEAR IF I GET ONE MORE GRAMMARLY AD I WILL ACTUALLY LOSE MY SHI-

grammarly ad dude: this sentence is grammatically correct but it's wordy and hard to read
ANY PERSON: AHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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Stoner science(best read when stoned)

the bullshit formulas, procedures and reasons stoners used to explain certain phenomenon and develop theories based on said phenomenon. what causes stoners to explain why things happen with bullshit reasoning that sounds scientific. semi-related to stoner logic. The person who experienced these thoughts while high inferred them to be a type of reasoning ,generally used with pointless topics while stoned, thus it was named Stoner Science. Not everyone can use stoner science. Aperson needs the right mindset. A scientific/philosophical mindset generally. Others may work.

Actual example of Stoner Science from actual stoned person: The reason why sugary drinks helps wash away cottonmouth: Elements possibly have microbiological properties. THC is very weak microbiologically and therefore most liquids can get rid of the cottonmouth possibly caused by THC particles that collect around the inside of your mouth after smoking marijuana. Microbiologically, most liquids are stronger than THC and work like white blood cells to eradicate viruses. They go into your mouth and the erosion of the slick layer of THC that is cottonmouth is caused by the microorganisms of the liquid killing the THC microorganisms. Sugar is microbiologically stronger than liquid because of the fact that it is made of tiny crystals. The sugar microorganisms roll across your mouth and tear through the THC killing its microorganisms. THC that didn't die will gather back together and reform the layer in your mouth, but the layer will be thinner. This is why after the first drink your cottonmouth is not as bad. Other examples incude: Why dirt covers the scent of a lot of things and why freash air brings down a high.(Typed by the person who experienced these thoughts while high. If you did not understand it you were either sober or high but you do not have the correct mindset.) stoner science(best read when stoned)

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old enough to read, old enough to bleed

this simply states that if a girl is old enough to read then she is old enough to bleed or have her cherry pooped or sex it up.

Tim: man I can't believe you banged that 6 year old.

Mark: man you know what I say "old enough to read, old enough to bleed"

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you don't have to be hungry to read the menu

A fitting term when you're checking someone out but you won't go for them.

Angelina: Look at Dan checking that dude out!
Tucker: I know right? Dan is like, ten years older than him.
Taylor: Who says Dan's going to make a move? You don't have to be hungry to read the menu..

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I have read and agree to the Privacy Policy

The biggest lie ever told.

Ugh, YES, Urban Dictionary! I have read and agree to the Privacy Policy!